Mrs. Misplaced

I have a horrible time misplacing important items.

I am choosing the term MISPLACE over LOSE since often, months later, the misplaced item turns up.

For example, I've misplaced my ID several times. Most recently, I had to go get another copy at the DMV, only to have the public library send my ID back to me a few months later by mail. Apparently, I was using it as a bookmark? Weird-o.

Right now its my debit card. I know I used it when I picked up Taco Bell drive thru and drive thru pharmacy medicines last week. I know, LAST WEEK. I kept thinking I had stuffed it in a weird part of my wallet. Or it was in my purse, lose. Or the diaper bag. Or the Jeep.

Cleaned the wallet. Not there.
Cleaned the purse and diaper bags. Not there either.
Up next, time to clean out the Jeep.

Misplacing items happens when I don't follow a routine or am careless and toss something somewhere instead of putting it away properly. It often leads me on an organization spree, which isn't a bad thing. My Jeep might even get a vacuum as I search under seats for it.

Oh, and specifically why I am looking for my debit card is so I can go to Sonic for a happy hour drink!

What I ♥ About Pregnancy... I Finally Figured it Out!

I know I've been a huge downer about being pregnant and that is basically because being pregnant was the time in my life that I felt physically the worst. I mean, I was so uncomfortable and puke-sick and grouchy that I probably could have told people I had a huge tumor on my kidney and was on some experimental, mood altering treatment and most people would have believed me and given me the sympathy I felt I needed.

When people asked me the best part of being pregnant, I said, "Its temporary." I still believe this statement, and think its amazing that my body could morph seemingly overnight (each night!) and each phase would be equally different and equally temporary.

But today I realized I have a different perspective and favorite thing about pregnancy. I was reflecting on the excitement I now feel when I hear a close friend is pregnant, and about the things I told a friend last night on the phone. (Former co-worker and mother of one daughter already!)

Pregnancy is a time for hopefulness and expectation. Expectation is in overdrive! When people learn of a pregnancy, there is a different type of excitement than when people hear of your baby or even see your baby.

Seeing a baby is joyful. Hearing of a pregnancy is hopeful. Both engender smiles, but they are different types of smiles.

I think I really liked the hopefulness and excitement being pregnant elicited for me and for others, too. I didn't enjoy the physical experience of pregnancy, but I think I appreciate the emotional experience much more now when I communicate with pregnant women.

So... that's it! A fetus is a symbol of hope and promise, and a baby is a symbol of joy and delight.

Seriously?

I am all about better living through medicine and health care. I fully support over the counter products for minor problems like headaches and totally support anyone on prescription medications for anxiety or blood pressure or whatever.

But I saw this commercial during my stint of recovering on the couch with swine flu. Medicine to grow eyelashes. You've gotta be kidding me!




Is this a huge problem I am unaware of... like, maybe I have good genes and don't need it? Do I just use superior mascara?

I also found out that it is prescribed off label, ordinarily given to elderly patients with eye problems. Lash growth is actually a side effect of the medication! I bet the FDA isn't cool with this off label use.

Yipeeeeeeee....

Five hours of sleep.

IN A ROW.

Unheard of since early July, before labor pains started.

All I can say is that Tracey Hogg's ideas about clusterfeeding and caloric intake have helped with allowing our child to get the sleep he needs!

Its hard telling what I can accomplish today. I could quite possibly run five miles today with all this extra energy I think I'll have. Or perhaps clean my bathroom, a feat that will take as much energy and has happened with as much regularity as running since I've had the little one. Read: hasn't happened!

Reflective

Modified from SWD

Outside my window... its dark, but I can see the neighborhood illuminated by lamplight. I feel slightly envious of my neighbors Stephanie and Eric, who have a lovely landscaping that just screams FALL every time I pass. Our landscape screams YOU HAD A BABY AND STOPPED WEEDING AND WATERING AND TENDING TO ME! AND NOW I AM AN OVERGROWN MESS!!!

I am thinking... about my new insurance plan that doesn't have a co-pay; instead, it has a 20% I-pay-it-fee, which really stinks.

This week I will try to... spend some time outdoors each day,

I hope to teach... myself to use a Moby wrap. My friend Hilary made one for me, and I feel intimidated by the length of it!

From the kitchen... I had the oven hot to cook toasted ravioli, so I went ahead and made carrot cake cupcakes and beer bread. I will use the beer bread to mop up potato soup I plan to make tomorrow and pretend that the carrot cake cupcakes are healthy enough to eat for breakfast!

I am wearing... I am still getting a lot of use from the maternity tank tops I bought from JCPenny this summer. I think I will only buy maternity spaghetti strap camisoles from now on because the length is incredible! Its a perfect layering layer and comes past the waist of my jeans. No more tummy tops for me again! I think all girls over the age of 11 should be given such a long tank upon her first low cut jean purchase to prevent any underwear as outerwear mishaps.

On my iTunes... bah, I still haven't installed the iTunes to PC converter thing to save all my files and redo my iPod. I have been listening to the Pump Up Labor play list as an exercise motivator. So far, my walks have been cut short and I end up on the third song, You Drive Me Crazy each time.

I am reading... Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block and Andrea Buchanan's Mother Shock

I am hoping... that the baby's trend of waking ONLY between the hours of 2AM and 3AM and between then between 5 and 7 AM continues!

I am thankful for... a great conversation with the nurse at our pediatrician's office today

I am remembering... that its HOMECOMING week at my last-year's school, and how much I dreaded dress up days because they made me feel unprofessional

I am creating... a routine for my days to give me peace of mind and stamina and to give my baby a predictable sleeping pattern

I am praying... thanksgiving and concern prayers for a BFF

Around the house... Slightly more tidy since Husby stayed home a day to help out during the h1n1 quarantine.

One of my favorite things... fountain soda (Pepsi, too, Nel!). I have been trying to trick myself by pouring 2 liter soda into my QT cup with ice, but the carbonation level just isn't the same! Its so tricky to take the baby into a gas station to get my fountain Pepsi fix and there aren't many drive thrus in my town that serve Pepsi.

A few plans for the rest of the week... immunization time for baby tomorrow and attending a Bible study on Friday morning

A picture thought to share with you: domestic desire

Recipe: RR Ratatouille

Raa tat too EE - Isn't that a neat-0 word? Its half the reason why I decided to make this dish, so I could say, "I am shopping for ratatouille vegetables. Ratatouille soup for dinner tonight!"

I found this recipe while watching Rachael Ray during the bout with swine flu. I had a lot of rest time last week, and a lot of time to plot my next mess up the kitchen experiment.

I am just going to link to the recipe, because its simple. Ratatouille is a French recipe, made many in many different styles and techniques, but requires a few basic ingredients: tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini, and red peppers. I used canned, fire roasted diced tomatoes, roasted sweet red peppers from a jar, and fresh eggplant, zucchini, and onion. I am not sure I've had that many vegetables in one spoonful before!

I used my collegiate trusty kitchen tool - the Foreman Grill - to grill the vegetables. I had no idea I could use it as a griddle for the veggies! The zucchini even had grill mark lines! And the onions got translucent much more quickly that I would have guessed.

I also used a food processor that my parents gave me to puree and fully blend the veggies into a soup. I feel that Rachael Ray tricked us into making a thick, marinara textured puree rather than a soup, but that's okay. Next time I'll add more chicken stock or a can of evaporated milk to make it a bit soupier.

We ate the Ratatouille for dinner tonight and I think Husby was being genuine in his compliments. He said, "Ordinarily, I gobble up the toasted ravioli and avoid the sauce. This time, I am picking around them to get to the soup!"

It froze beautifully and was a lovely, thick soup for a chilly fall evening. I think I'll make similar recipes, but experiment with adding large ziti noodles to the mixture and baking, or perhaps leaving the vegetables chunky and tossed together, sort of like a stir fry.

Another Great Dance Clip...

My favorite Patrick Swayze movie is probably Ghost... well, at least the first third of the movie, it gets a little wonky after he dies.

My favorite show DWTS did a tribute to him on this week's elimination show, and even if you don't watch the show or have strong feelings for PS, its a really cool dance number.

Something I really want to take my son to go see...

Image from:http://www.applause-tickets.com/blog/uploaded_images/lion-king-743681.jpg

Is Lion King. Of course, on Broadway would be wonderful... but I'm not up for subway travel with an infant! So, I hope it comes to the FOX or Muny.

We watched a segment from it on our favorite show DWTS, and I must say the colors and movement really captured his attention! I swear I heard a giggle when he saw little Simba wiggle at the end.

I really liked the integration of puppets on the dancers. I am not sure if you call a giant hat with a cheetah on it a puppet... but its more than a mere costume.

It's amazing, check out the video yourself!

I know its premature to say so, but I think I will only take my kid to movies, plays, concerts, etc that I can bear sitting through for an hour. I couldn't handle some sort of Barney on Ice or something. I really hope he isn't into cartoons I don't enjoy. There are so many cool things he could like... Fraggle Rock, Muppet Babies, Sesame Street, Veggie Tales, etc... surely we don't have to endure Wiggles or Thomas or Dora or Blues Clues. I think I'll struggle with allowing him to choose his own preferred entertainment, and not mine! I know, identity is important... but I think my sanity is important, too.

Blogger Friend Spotlight: Chrissy

I met Chrissy just this Spring (in person, in bloggy land, last fall!) and I can't forget the first thing she said.

I knocked on her door because I was in her neighborhood for an all-town yard sale. I felt a little awkward just doing that, out of the blue, going up to a house and knocking. I am not a girl for pop-ins! I think polite heads-up phone calls are niceties.

Anyway, I knocked on her door, and when she answered, I was greeted with the same smiling face as her profile picture. Usually, people don't look EXACTLY the same, but she sure did/does! I remember thinking, Geez, she's really tall! I wonder if she'll know me from my website, and if not, will I seem really strange or stupid?

Chrissy said, "Hi, Mrs. Haid!" and then the magic words: "You don't even look pregnant!".

Bless her. I was five months pregnant and not really glowing. More like green with nausea.

But I digress from the Blogger Friend Spotlight Format, in which I write a little poem about the person and her blog.

Traveling Light: A Limerick

There is a good blog which I think you should read

Written by a woman with Christ as her lead
With truth and wit
She shares her quest to be fit,
And of her family with a laugh guaranteed.

You should go to Chrissy's blog, Traveling Light, to read a light hearted, straight forward perspective about living life as a Christian wife, mother, and adult.

And here's a picture of her cute family.

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but I will continue. If you want to be featured, let me know!

Recipe: Deluxe Chili

Plus: coarsely chopped onions, a little BBQ sauce if you want, black pepper, optional heat inducing sauces/spices.

Tips for making good chili:

- Use variety of beans - I acutually prefer mostly black beans, white beans, and dark red kidney beans, not the standard prepared pinto beans

- Be sure to properly rinse and drain beans from the can, which reduces the amount of sodium in your chili because the beans are swimming in preservatives while in the can.

- Add some shredded cheese about an hour before serving to the top of the pot. I love Sharp Cheddar or Nacho Fiesta Blend

- Try to add as many veggies as possible, like green peppers, red onions, white onions, many different beans, diced or stewed tomatoes... to make it more filling and healthy.

- At our house, we add large steak chunks and no hamburger, which I think makes it have a better texture.

- Embrace this meal as a meatless option. Husby can handle meat-free chili when its got large chunks of deliciousness in every bit!

Whoooooohoooooooooo! Subtitle: Baby slept until 3:30 AM

So, counting the hour earlier that I went to bed, I had five hours of sleep.

In a Row.

Who knows what other sorts of magic will come from this insane amount of sleep that I haven't had since early July. Perhaps today will be the day we both kick that pesky H1N1 Virus to the curb!

How Am I Doing With Motherhood? Post 1

This is a question lots of my friends, readers, and acquaintances from church or work ask me.

My initial response is, Well, I have to work at it. I am not a natural!

I replied in these exact words when the FNP asked me the question during our "6 Week You're Done Being Post-Partum Now" clinic visit. She chastised me and said, "Now, dear, you are wrong! I see you cuddling him while he's upset, you nursed him in here while I was getting your basic information, and comforting him while he is in a strange place. You are a natural. Look at his rosy, chubby cheeks. He is doing so well! You are a good mother."

I felt a little embarrassed by her comments. I like compliments when its something I feel successful at or have tried super hard to accomplish a feat, and I feel like being a good mother is supposed to be a given. Everyone should just automatically be one, so its not a real thing for you to get a compliment on it. I feel like shrugging those comments off and changing the subject.

I am not sure why this makes me feel uncomfortable.

I think I've said before that I didn't play with baby dolls when I was young, nor did I play imagination games wherein I was the mom. Instead I read books, drew, wrote, and made up adventure games wherein I was the Jo March character. I don't feel like I am a naturally tender or cuddly person. If you called me thoughtful or creative, I'd probably agree and feel happy with your compliment.

So... this is my first thought about motherhood. Its nothing something I thought would be an easy fit automatically. Its something I think I need practice with and at. Its something I need mentors for, encouragement during, and self-esteem with.

My next How Am I Doing With Motherhood? post will be about the topic "motherful" vs. "mothering" and self-identity as it pertains to an awesome article in a LLL magazine Mrs. Rothermich loaned me. (Thanks, Kathy!)

PS - I love this picture. I don't feel like many of my photos with our son have been flattering, what with the limitted sleep, transitional wardrobe, and poor lighting. I was delighted to pay for newborn photos of the baby and I because I do want to have photos I am proud of to display in our home.

Worst Feeling...

I can't think of a worse feeling than that of regretting a misspoken word, an ugly argument, or a haughty eye roll directed at the ones you love.





Especially when you were right on and had solid ground upon which to stand.





It is so difficult for me to let things slide when I feel I've been slighted and I know I could point out the obvious fault in the other one.





My sin nature creeps in... no, barrels through! and out pops a cutting remark. My often-well intentioned husband is visibly crestfallen.





And instantly, I feel like I kicked a kid's puppy. My eyes are hot with tears (of indignation or embarrassment).





As the moments pass and there has been no conflict resolution, my stomach churns as if I am sipping turned milk. I feel shame and wish I could snatch back up those hateful comments.


If hours pass, and there is still no grand gesture, I start to feel really desperate and ashamed of myself. I feel nervous about the confrontation of confession.


It is truly the worst feeling, but could be avoided with much better communication.

• If I communicate my needs better, I won't be disappointed when my mind isn't read and my expectations aren't met.

• If I could just listen to that inner voice that says That's quite enough, stop talking! all would be better.

Here is my own little devotional for the day:

James 3
Taming the Tongue
1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.






Image from:http://setsnservice.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/430421345_ae242de57f.jpg

The Boys (and Girls) are Back in Town...

How much fun would it have been to be at the premiere?Too much fun for a girl with swine flu.  I might have sneezed on Bruno or had to bring my blanket (covered in sequins, of course!).

Because I can't get enough of the fancy footwork, lovely bejewled costumes, or men wearing heeled shoes, here are the professional dancers introducing Monday an Tuesday nights' shows. 

I'm pumped to see Edyta, Cheryl, Fake Ben Niesen aka Tony D, Lacey Schwimmer, Derek, Kym and Chelsea H.  Sad news there's no Juilanne, but I'm okay with that because they've got Anna and she's great, too.

As for the stars... (stars is a leap here... I'd say lesser known celebs is a better one!)... I haven't made my choices yet.  I think I like the chef guy with Lacey, Joanna the swimsuit model, Kathy Ireland, and Tom Delay.   I haven't made up the bracket yet, but I will do it and post it soon!

For yoru viewing pleasure... the pro dancers.

Fall Festival Festivities

My town has a large parade every year for The Grape and Fall Festival.  There is always a street market during the morning of the parade.   My family like to gather near one of our cousin's flooring store, near the end of the parade route.  We typically bring foldable chairs and park ourselves in a great location.  This year, my little family arrived just a half hour before the main event, so we didn't go to the street market until after the parade.  We found my mother signing up citizens to vote, as her job as an elementary teacher calls on her to proselytize  for a bond issue.

We found my father (in red) sitting on the corner with his nephew and his nephew's father.  Yes.  My dad looks to be the same age as his nephew.  That's because my dad's sister is much older than my father, and as a consequence. my dad was born an uncle.  So he became an uncle to the guy in the white hat at age four.  I'm 27 and I don't have any nephews!

My sister J arrived, wearing a pretty little sundress.  She immediately recognized her favorite former teacher, Ms. B. This time, I'm not using a nickname or pseudonym... we really call her Ms. B!  Or maybe Ms. Bee? Not sure!  Ms. B taught J second grade, but they have more in common than just that! Both have been/are currently Catholic grade school teachers.  In this photo, Ms. B is genuflecting.  I'm not sure why.  I think its because she was nearly a nun once, but was too silly for the convent.

Then a cute kid passed by.  Many people were ooooing and aaahhhing over the baby in his stroller, but she looked past him to my camera case sitting in the cup holder of the stroller.

She looked right at me and said, "What's that?". 

 I replied, "My camera."

She then requested I take her photo, and told me, "I'll be making my funniest face!"

I think this is a pretty funny occurunce, since I actually don't know the girl at all!

I saw my Aunt Sharon and several other family members as we settled into our lawn chair places on the side of the road.

My other sister, Rachie, arrived and sat in the spot we'd saved for her.  Here's a photo of us sisters looking fairly glamorous for the GFF in our glasses.

The baby was a little fussy in his stroller, so I took him out to hold him.  Babies aren't supposed to wear sunblock, but my family is notorious for burning, so I tried to block the UV rays.  It was a bright, sunshiney day and we three girls got pink, but the baby did not!

The GFF coincided with Tour of Missouri Bicycle Race again this year, so the parade's them was Pedal to the Metal.  Here's an example of what rolls around our town...

Yes, farm implements roll through our town!  I especially like the shot of the townsfolk, clearly related to each other, on the left side of the photos. They might also be related to Hulk Hogan!

There were many other non-tractors in the parade. Such as marching bands, cars with local dignitaries like council members and the King and Queen of the Old Folks Center. There was also a strange group of medival parade walkers. Apparently, they rehearse sword fights in the park and outside of the high school. Odd. We didn't do that in high school.  I wonder if they use real swords, and if so, that is the real membership enticer.

Then my cousin Matt wanted to hold my baby. He is a huge fan of babies (he has five kids, too).  Our cousin Jerry, a recent divorcee, told him, "You need another kid like I need another wife," which caused us to giggle.

Next, my dad caught a piece of bubble gum... and , said, "I haven't chewed gum in twenty years!".  We encouraged him to blow a bubble, and suprisingly, he obliged.  I guess its just muscle memory, because twenty years later, can can still blow a bubble.

And then Aunt J held and cuddled her cutie nephew.

We all went to the street fair and ran into some friends, including Ms Terra Faye, Miss J, Rachie's friend with a dog and friend named Witchy.  We also ran into the little boy who was in her charge the year she was a nanny. 

My mom ran into one of her uncles who lives in Texas. They laughed a lot. 

We laughed when we saw the photography his wife did of our group!

I mean we should have realized she held the camera down at her waist.  You can barely even tell that my husband is standing behind us in the shot, right?At least the baby's head wasn't cut off!  To further complicate matters, we are standing in front of our cousin's flooring store and some woman barrels through the doorway, hitting my sister and husband hard on their backs.  She didn't even excuse herself!

Yes, that photo is a hoot.  After the photo was taken, we all were starving hungry for lunch.  They asked ME what I wanted to eat, and I replied, "Fortune Inn!!".  I adore the General Tso's lunch special with the best ever egg drop soup and crab rangoon, so I was so excited to get my Chinese cuisine fix on this visit.  The restaurant has notoriously poor customer service on Saturday afternoons.  We're talking BAD.  I can't even explain to you how long the waits are, how silly the dialogue between the server and our family.  Its hilarious though.  Maybe in another post.

It was a lovely morning, and when it was PM, we all went back to my parents' house for a nap.  Isn't it funny how Chinese food makes you drowsy and you need a siesta?

Things I Can Tell You About Our H1N1 Experience

First of all, thanks so much for the calls, texts, messages, and comments of good health wishes! Both the baby and I are not in good health... yet... but I do feel well enough to blog and he feels well enough to enjoy his infant play mat, so I think that is progress!
I do feel pretty sick, but its not the sickest I have ever felt. It does feel just like a bad case of the flu. Sweating, muscle aches, sore throat, runny nose, headache, general overall malaise.

I technically have a suspected H1N1 case, because a confirmed case needs to have a series of tests done, and I feel too sick to schedule an appointment and wait around in a doctor office. Plus, I'm not in a high risk group for the Tamiflu treatment. Plus now that I am CFO of Haid Financial, I'm feeling cheap.

However, this morning at the pharmacy, my the pharmacist told my husband, "Oh, the sore throat is clearing up but the other symptoms are worsening? Yep, that's swine flu!" So, another confirmation from an expert.


It started out as a really sore, scratchy throat, similarly to how I feel when I get strep or tonsillitis on Sunday evening. Then I started to feel more tired and run down by Monday morning. It seemed all I could do to just shower and tend to the baby. My energy was so low!

I emailed our doctor to see if I needed to bring the baby in. He didn't have a fever, but was acting differently. He was falling asleep while nursing (which he doesn't typically do during the day) and seemed both more cuddly and touchier than normal. He had a slight, nonproductive cough and a full nose of snot.
The doctor asked me to bring him in, but he first focused on my symptoms. He quickly ruled out strep based on what I told him, but did say that I might just associate strep with how being sick feels since I had that condition often. okay, makes sense.. Then he said..."Nope, it sounds like you've got the swine flu, not a cold or strep or anything else. Are you trying to spend a night away from home?"

I felt confused by that statement, partially because I was feeling a bit dazed and loopy, and mostly because I am hugely paranoid and cautious with our baby's health. I thought he meant I needed to be quarantined away from him. That wasn't the case though, since he said that actually, the baby has whatever I have, and I am much too important to him and his nutritional health.

When he examined the baby, I felt a little surprised to notice the rash appearing on his torso. Having him undressed really made his skin tone change colors! Dr. AW said it was a common rash associated with the virus he had, but was more concerned about small, freckle-like marks called petechiae. Why have I never heard of this huge, red flag of warning for a serious infant illness? Geez.

The doctor said fever + petuchiae = 25% chance the baby had a serious condition that would need hospitalization, so we needed some tests to confirm or deny. The blood work would show the level of T Cells (immune cells) and Neutrophils (which are like the Pac men of immunity and gobble up invaders). Dr. AW went on to say that babies "go from sick to dead in a matter of days, so this is serious" and he might need to be hospitalized for 48 hours.


While he is saying all this, I am starting to sweat and feel leg muscle fatigue. I knew this was a big deal, but I was feeling so sick that I just complied with his directions to take the baby over to Blood Draw and find out the next plan of action. Dr. AW was concerned with how I was doing as a new parent hearing this dramatic news, and honestly, while I was a little freaked, I was mostly wanting to find out what to do for the baby.


We didn't have to wait long to find out the news. Just long enough for me to call and text several close friends and implore them to PRAY. We soon learned that though he is sick, he doesn't need hospitalization, just rest and frequent temperature checks.

I tell you, it was traumatic watching Our Sweet Boy getting blood drawn from his arm. It was sort of like he was giving blood, laying on a tiny infant chair and having a tiny little needle in his tiny little arm. Tiny though it was, his screams were ENORMOUS. He cried crocodile tears. It was pitiful.
Last night entailed lots of rest and some vegetable beef soup. Today was more rest and chicken noodle soup. I feel lucky to have had Husby home to tend to us... diaper changes for one of us, and water glass refills for the other. He also gave lots of hugs to both, figuring that he had already been exposed to the germs.

So... I've got the...

No foolin.

Little Bit has got it, too.

I am the manager of my own time. Oh, wait. No I am not, I have a baby!

I feel like in my life, the phrase all or nothing rings the most true.

During college, it was relax-y fun time with only class attendance to worry about until all the sudden, there were five papers due one week and two exams.  Oh, moving apartments and four parties on the same night and a holiday or something to boot.

I am not good wtih so much unstructured time because it makes me lazy.  Then I get stressed and behind on projects or work when its time for them to begin.

Its been like that since the school term ended in May.  I had two full months of hurry up and wait because there was very little to do, and I was too anxious to get too far ahead in the baby prep zone.  Then, after the birth of my son, there has been only hurry up and hurry.  No waiting, no sir-ee.  I mean... newborn cries have a way of making me bristle and bustle!  And the term on demand feeding is quite appropriate!  All the well paced interval feeding schedules are fine and great, but the infant certainly gets on demand feeding !

I am trying to figure out ways to organize my time and be more productive.  So I don't have everything pile up at once.

So, I am re-doing some tasks and places around my house to be more systematic. 

 Like housekeeping.  I went to baby sit for my neighbor yesterday, and I was amazed and jealous at her lovely, well kept home.  Her son told me that actually, his dad cleans, but... we have the same model of home cookie cutter subdivisions have a tendency to do this... and my living room was far from welcoming or inviting.  Unless you are one who finds solace in a laundry strewn living room and totally wrecked kitchen!  And if that is you... I've got a destination vacation for you!

 Like time for daily Bible time.  One of my friends wakes up 15 minutes earlier so she can read a Psalm and meditate on it before starting her workday.  A blog friend I have made a prayer journal/notebook to help her stay organized and dedicated to her prayer life. I admit that I couldn't even find my Bible this morning as I left for church!

Like laundry.  I am going to try to do only one load all the way through before beginning another one. I  get so overwhelmed by the piles of clean laundry waiting to be put away.

Like pumping milk.  I don't enjoy this task and I need to figure out a more convenient way to accomplish this.  Either parts are in the dishwasher or I am not sitting near an electrical outlet or the baby is ultra fussy and needs my complete attention.

Like keeping up on baby memories.  I haven't completed the hard copy baby book, and I am not quite sure where it is! I also have been posting some old photos and video on his blog, but I haven't gone through and back-dated it so its chronological.  I also haven't figured out the best way to back up the digital files and can't decide if I love or dislike Picasa for editing, publishing, and saving.  Oooo.... and I also haven't put in all of July's ultrasounds into his hard copy photo album.  So much to do!

I also want to blog about these things, but haven't taken photographs with it to finish, or else haven't written about:  reflections on a recent series of sermons on Psalms and Jeremiah, a list of words I spell wrong all the time, the Fall Festival festivities from last weekend, recipes I've tried and enjoyed lately, magazine articles I read and enjoyed from Abbie's MIL, BFing class and progress, how I miss teaching and ideas for careers, how God is changing my heart to enjoy staying at home, a post of blessings I have noticed, how relationships with BFFs have changed post-baby, how relationships with my sisters have changed in the last month, and how my marriage relationship has changed since miscarriage, pregnancy, and birth. 

I have started to write posts about cloth diapering, our compost bin, our rain barrel, how I miss college and being on campus and learning, a weird infomercial I saw, recipes I made during August, ideas for Christmas gifts, budgeting, and cloth pads. 

I think that this 25 mintue journal entry has helped me a lot, though probably the time could have been used for many of the things I mentioned in the post, namely showering!  Oh well. 

Its all or nothing, right?  Well... not totally an all or nothing thing when it comes to showering.

Like personal hygiene.  And I wish it was merely unbuffed heels and unpolished toes.  Sadly, I've got a persistently ashy elbow that needs constant attention and I've been known to be so sleepy or quick in the shower that I've forgotten to shave an entire leg!  Luckily, I had a dentist appointment last week so I'm good and flourided and flossed, and I had a hair appointment last week, too, to remedy the overly exposed roots I was neglecting.  But... seriously, there are days when I am just begging for a shower and an exfoliation. 


PS - I started to use the HTML typer format, which doesn't do spell check!  It does have a back/undelete button, which is way helpful... but who doesn't need spell check!  Come on, blogger company workers who read my blog, fix this dilemma!

Cute baby photo of the week...

Please take me to the Cards game tonight. I promise not to cheer for the Cubbies. I'm wearing my Redbird jersey.


What? The game lasts three hours past my bed time?
Well, maybe I can go when I am bigger.

Have fun Grampa and Nana!

Best Thing I Ever Made

This summer I had some people pose questions to me. My friend (real life, non-blogger friend!) JK asked me the question:

"What is the best thing you've ever made?"

I pondered her question.

• A Baby? Nah... to easy of an answer.
• Love? Nah, a bit too scandalous for my blog.
• My own wedding dress? Nah... that's a far fetched lie. Though JK and my mother made their own!

I can't knit, use a sewing machine, do much along the lines of heavy machinery, or do anything electrical. So those projects are all out.

I can chop, mince, dice, stir, and blend with the best of them. My best creation ever is called Wonderful Salsa. Its fresh salsa, not cooked down at all, with lots of pleasant chunks. I haven't decided if I want to share the recipe or if I want it to be my "thing" that I am famous for making.

Note to my mom....

Email subject: Greater Appreciation for You As a Mother

Tonight I had a greater appreciation for you. I feel so worn out and I was thinking about the mothering role I have, and how it is a take, take, take thing. I feel depleted a lot! I don't know if its the nursing that makes me feel this way, or the little sleep. Or that our little man didn't nap longer than 20 minutes at a time until 7 pm tonight - so he was crabby and tough to handle. That made being his mother and being patient with him difficult.

I think you can't appreciate Mother's Day until you are a mother. Mother's Day is a way bigger deal than I thought. Every day really is NOT Mother's Day! I will consider the day not just as a day to recognize a family member, but instead treat it like a special memorial day for the sacrifices mothers make for their small babies.

I May Have Forgotten to Mention...

That I have a really, really cute baby.
Sometimes I almost forget that he is actually this cute, and that he is actually OUR baby. We aren't this cute! He's like a Fischer Price baby model in this picture.



He really loves punching that blue elephant. He laughs each time he socks that thing!

Being Featured Makes Me Feel Fabulous!

Hello, Abbie's pals from Chick in the Czeck!

My fun and athletic neighbor Abbie featured me on her blog today, which made me remember that I used to do a Blog Friend Feature... did like four of them... and then my enthusiasm waned and I forgot to continue to do this.

But I want to continue!

Having a little shout out like that adds a little sparkle to your day. So... if you'd like ME to feature YOU, I can so do that. I'd also like to share a picture of you, too, so you could send me one!

Isn't it sort of weird how being recognized in a public way can make one feel special?

Recipe: Granola in the Crock Pot

Isn't this beautiful looking?









You'll need:

-5 cups of Oats (not quick oats... they burn too quickly!)

- Lots of nuts, seeds, dried berries (about 1/4 cup for each one)

- Honey (1/4 to 2/3 cup, per your taste)

- Melted butter (1/4 - 1/2 cup)

- Large slow cooker with lid

- chopstick or wooden spoon to create a vent

I started to read a blog similar to The Julie/Julia Project called A Year of Slow Cooking. This recipe caught my eye. While I didn't think that I love granola, I realized I've been living a bit of a granola lifestyle, so I should eat some! I made a huge pan of it, tried some with milk, and fell in love. YUM-o. I put the rest in the freezer for later, but I bet I do make this recipe frequently.

Confession: I still check my email all day, even though I have less of a reason to do so.

In high school, email was for fun, flirty notes.

In college, email was for announcements from professors, organizing study groups, agendas for meetings from my boss, and love letters from Husby.

In graduate school, email was for communicating with professors, providing feedback for the massive action research paper we had to write, and finding out what was going on on campus so we could do fun things for free.

In my teaching jobs, email was for parent communication (sometimes, a major source of anxiety or EEK-ness), weekly announcements from our boss, the balance of my lunch account, and students sending me projects.

I'm not involved in any of those positions now, and anyone who emails me can most likely wait for a delayed (but still timely) response. I can actually use my phone now to communicate, for crying out loud.

This is a habit I am going to try my best to break because I think its probably an annoying characteristic. So... I'll check only 5 more times the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll shoot for 5 times total.

I don't know if I'll be able to break this addiction... its second nature for me anymore.

Am I a Granola Lady?

My sister told me I was crunchy. I immediately denied this accusation.

Sure, I prefer buying resale for all baby items. I check the bottom of all plastic containers before I buy them to see if they are the correct number to recycle locally.

Wait... those aren't the only two qualifiers though.

I am breastfeeding the baby. That's a low-impact thing.
He wears cloth diapers.
I dry his cloth diapers on a wash line.
I also use cloth baby wipes.

Oooh, maybe that is a little granola.

But, then again, my husband was the one who enthusiastically set up the laundry line. He created and installed our rain barrel water collection system. He built me a compost bin when I asked him to.

We both enjoy the tomatoes from our pesticide free garden.

I'm sure my sister has countless other pieces of evidence to stick the title crunchy to.

All those things aside, I think the reason why I didn't claim the title of Granola Lady is because I am still very much a consumer-driven citizen of our materialistic society.

I love driving our Jeep, and I haven't ever used the bike paths in our city.

I love driving our Jeep around to visit friends and family instead of using public transportation (and I have a predominately negative opinion of public transpiration, for that matter!).

I love going to Target, and I am certain most of the products I've bought from there weren't made locally and are totally meant to be disposable since they were so affordable.

I love going to get To Go Drinks and I sometimes don't even save or reuse the To Go Cup.

We didn't paint our house with the environmentally friendly paint because I thought it smelled weird (and because Husby thought it was too pricey).

I've also bought three packs of Pampers Swaddlers for those times between laundry or on road trips, because I am (gasp) too lazy to figure out a very effective diaper system for those particular occasions.

My closet brims with clothes I bought because I like shopping. I've got much more than I actually need.

So... I guess I am a bit more granola than she, but I am defiantly not Ms. Granola Green. I am too selfish and lazy to be that way.

Maybe one day I'll have some great awakening and forgo all bottled beverages and chemical laden highlights for the good of the planet. Maybe. I won't should myself on this one though.

Packing Up: Mixed Emotions

I'm taking a quick break from packing up our belongings from an extra long weekend (five and a half days!) visiting my parents. There is so much stuff to put into my Jeep...but that's another story!

I am feeling mixed emotions. I am excited to get back to our house, with our smell of laundry detergent and pantry stocked with my own favorite foods. Back to a routine in which the baby sleeps in his own room and is calmed by his own things. Back to slightly more clothes to wear (still not back to pre-pregnancy size, so limited wardrobe choices) and socks! I forgot to pack socks.

And most importantly, back to my husband. Being able to just look over and see him, listening to him singing a tune in the shower, getting a huge smile from him when I tell a lame joke or the baby does something really sweet, and back to warm hugs. That will be so great!

However, I will miss being at my parents' house, too. I will miss that I'm not in charge of keeping our house clean and ourselves going... I can rely on them to set the routine and pace while I relax. I've so enjoyed seeing my parents interact with my son, and I've also enjoyed having a bit of non-baby time of changing diapers and clothes and burping and cuddling, since they have shared that burden (well... burden is only appropriate for diaper duty! task or something might be a better word!). Its nice to share raising a child with other people, rather than having baby routines consume all of your time. I've had more time to think and just feel normal when I have less baby-responsibility.

And its cute to see my baby smiling at my parents and enjoying the toys at their house.

I also feel nostalgic every time I leave my hometown, which is a trip I've made for 8 years now. Its always the same travel route, since I live in my college town now, too. I know it so well that I sort of zone out a bit, and have a lot of time to think. There is no cell service for quite a ways, so I am left with the radio and my own thoughts. Often I think about how different it is for me to be going back to my current life after being back home and getting a taste of my old life from childhood.

I think that if I lived in the same town as my family, I wouldn't really experience these feelings. The drive would be much shorter (maybe even just down the street!) and I wouldn't have time to process these emotions. Perhaps I wouldn't even feel the emotions because my current adult life and my former childhood life would be meshed together. Perhaps it I would have integrated it all better than I have now.

Okay, short break became fifteen minutes! Off to continue packing. Oh how I hate the chore of packing and unpacking!

Dee-lish (microwave) Dish

Whoever thought that pumpkin could be a ravioli filling? A culinary genius, that's who!

I have had a hard time eating balanced meals with so much unstructured time, so I turned to Meal in a Box.
I ate lots and lots of Meal in a Boxes during college when I didn't want to cook dinner and also when I taught at schools with unappetizing cafeteria food. I had Meal in a Box staples: Lean Pockets with Broccoli, Manicotti, and Lemon Chicken with noodles.

I decided to break out of the rut and got this: Pumpkin Squash Ravioli with Butter Sage Sauce (and asparagus, chunks of apples, and squash wedges).

YUM-O.

Encouragement

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13 NIV)



I've been thinking about the support and love my friends and family have given me in my life.



During high school, I had a lovely piano teacher who would listen to me talk and encourage me to do the next right thing.



In high school, a teacher encouraged me to write non-fiction, rather than just narratives, and helped me improve for collegiate writing.



In college, I had a PA who was so cheerful and offered encouragement for studying and biology courses.



My mom sends cards often that describe how she is praying for me.



As a beginning teacher, I found encouragement from my college professors who challenged me to implement effective teaching strategies and beware of gloomy nearly-retirees.



Last year a bloggy friend and lovely person offered encouragement in the form of email and a praise CD when I had a rough back-to-school time.



One of my BFFs encourages others by giving them compliments, listening in great detail to their stories and asking interested questions, and by sharing smiles.



A co-worker encouraged me with jokes and light-hearted banter.



One of my friends encourages by sending thoughtful cards with the phrase "know that you and your friendship mean so much to me and that you are important".



My husband encourages me with warm hugs and gentle messages along the lines of "you're doing such a good job and I am proud of you".



As for me, I do enjoy sending greeting cards and texts that are cheerful and apropos, but I think I need to do more. So many of my friends are facing tough decisions or phases in their lives. So many people I am just acquaintances with are having hard times with career decisions or unemployment, and many people I know have relationship issues. Others are facing the normal challenges of life - homework, parental drama, parenting issues - and I wonder how to encourage them.

Christ has called us to be a source of encouragement for others, to build them up, and to show love. (Galatians 6:2 NIV) I feel challenged and called to improve this area of my spiritual life and friendly life.

How do you like to experience encouragement from others? What is a meaningful way I (or someone else in general) could encourage you? How do you provide encouragement for others?

Cute Baby Haid Photo of the Week

He's alert, propped up, and ready to see the world.

Is Mommy Blogger the New Soccer Mom?

I've resisted the label "Mommy Blogger" for a month because the terminology just doesn't sit well with me. I thought it was because I don't really want my son to call me Mommy (I'm just not that cute, I'm more of a mama, I think...).

Now I after reading this article, I think I resist the term because I don't like to be stereotyped.

So, sorry about past posts that have had a negative connotation about not wanting to talk about my new role as a mom. I was just worried about being labeled.

Is Mommy Blogger the New Soccer Mom?

Shared via AddThis

FYI...

Even though I am a mom who blogs, I think NAK is TMI.

We on the Internet don't need to know what you are doing all the time.

While I was blogging....

My Little Bundle fell asleep while playing in his crib.
He is napping so well in both the mornings and afternoons that it makes things like blogging and a peaceful bedtime possible.



The stuffed bear in the background is Teddy, my toy from childhood!

Hey, hey, hey, baby I gotcha money...

I'm the CFO of our household, a title I just gained this month. I've got spreadsheets for bill paying and budgeting. I know all the passwords for online bill paying. I think my next step will be to order checks that I REALLY like, such as these, or these.

I'm feeling pretty powerful.

When we were first married, I was a total control freak about our money. Then, two months into grad school and being a first year teacher, I couldn't juggle everything, and I relinquished control to Husby. He, of course, did a great job and is much more meticulous than I am at things of this nature.

Its my goal to keep ourselves on a tight budget, what with reducing our income by half this semester AND getting a (pricey) little bundle of joy this summer. I think knowing just how much is in the account at all times and what bills are due will help deter me from spontaneous buying at Target and online shopping. Two birds, one stone.

The Day I've Been Waiting for For 18 Years...

.0 .0

9-09-09. It's finally here!!

I was in Mrs. W's class in second grade, and I sat near the side of the room with the calendar. Our birthdays were marked with little cakes, and I knew how many days it would be until mine. I would be nine on September 9th. I thought it was just sooooo cool. I'd be NINE on the NINTH day of the NINTH month. I think it was at that time I decided NINE would be my favorite number.

Then I realized it would be even cooler on 09-09-99, when I would turn 17 years old. Or on 9-09-09 when I turned 27.

Both days have come, and I still appreciate the novelties of the numbers.

Try this... tell me if it works!

I watch morning TV news programs. Okay, "news" programs. They are kind of like drive-thru news sources; quickie entrees prepared without lots of time or extra details!

So these programs often have a segment called Ways To Save Money Around The House (During This Tough Economy) Using Random Things You Already Own. The one on last week said that used dryer sheets serve as a multi-purpose cleaning tool. Use them to clean the grime off showers and to dust flat services.

So, not being able to find my California Dash Duster, I found a used dryer sheet and gave the flat surfaces in my living room a once over. The result? Less dust... but I don't know if they really made that much more of a difference than just using my bare hand to brush away the dust.

So... give it a try for me and tell me what you think! Because I secretly think there are sarcastic individuals writing for the morning news programs who think American housewives are gullible!

Gratitude is...

Husband feeding baby middle of night bottle and me sleeping for 5 continuous hours.


Also definition for DELIGHTFUL.

Contentment is....

watching your husband cuddle your baby.

Hurray!!!

Some hurrays...

1) Hurray that our small boy slept until 5:54 am this morning, and Husby fed him at 1 am, so I got to sleep for FIVE HOURS SOLID. This hasn't happened in about 8 weeks, or since about 36 weeks pregnant.

2) Hurray that my fun sister Rachie is coming in a few hours and we will play and have fun.

3) Hurray that Husby is off of work tomorrow and we are hosting a patio party for my family.

4) Hurray that I've got an appointment to color my hair, which is now looking awfully root-y.

5) Hurray that I was offered a job tutoring, working 18 hours a week, 6 days a week, which is plea$ant, but probably more than I actually want to work. Great to have the choice!

6) Hurray, hurrah, and a bully for old Mizzou, Rah, rah, rah , rah Mizzoooooou-rah, Mizzoooooou-rah, TIGERS WIN!

Awesome LE Swim Sale...

I think I miss aqua fitness classes. Today I looked up the sale section of swim wear at Lands End and did some fake shopping (putting things in my shopping cart and wishing).

You gotta check these out though, great quality swim wear under 20 bucks...

Mid Mo Blogger Meet Up?

I've got an idea about meeting up for brunch or lunch or just socialization on Monday, September 14 or Tuesday, September 15.

Lots of my blogger friends live near my parents' home, and I will be visiting them for the hometown fall festival that weekend and look forward to introducing Baby Haid to his online fan club.

Anyone interested? Msg me...

Best Part So Far of Staying Home...

Not rushing around the house getting ready for work. I'd rush and rush and rush to gather my belongings, breakfast, and composure before dashing out on my commute to work.

How stressful.

Having flexibility over my morning schedule is quite nice, even if it means that the baby is in control of when I shower or that the only people I see in the morning are the news anchors of Good Morning America.

Weird Feelings and Old Age

Maybe I should quit Facebook. Its giving me weird feelings.

I think I am not aging at all until I read a newspaper flyer wedding announcement of an old boyfriend. Or see a facebook photo of someone with a new last name. Or realize that people my year in school are first year residents in OB at North Carolina. Or that my husband and BFF both have a few streaks of grey hair (premature, they both assure).

I still feel like the 18 year old, unmarried, unattached to a profession, ambitious, and perky.

But I also feel unperky, like I've been through more than a decade of triumph and tragedy, and concerned I will also get greys.

And I feel really weird looking at those Facebook photos of people who were so significant to me at other times but who are as far away as a total stranger now. Or seeing status updates that are so completely unrelateable to how I am now. Or seeing "little kids" off to college this year.

Mostly just seeing brides and grooms gives me the weird feelings. Makes me feel old.

Well, the grey hair is just as weird as the wedding photos.

Denim Differences in Our Marriage

Today Husby and I had a search party for a pair of his jeans he needed to wear to work today (yes, he has a professional job and he gets to wear JEANS. LUCKY!).

I've been the main laundry person for awhile now, and so I felt a tinge of guilt for not having them ready. Just a tinge though... because its not like I have other things to keep track of besides pants!

They weren't in the dirty clothes or the dryer. Not under the bed, in the hamper in our room, by his shower, or the floor of our closet. He had to wear a pair of jeans he doesn't prefer (because they are GAP, not Carhartt... and he needs work jeans, not fashion jeans, for work, he says)..

This wouldn't be a big deal at all if he had more than two pair of jeans. Yes, only two pairs, plus the "fashion jeans" he wears for church or a date or something. Plus shorts. Plus baseball pants. But only two pairs of jeans to wear during the week!

I would never have an issue with this, because I love to shop and buy jeans. I have bought so many pairs over the years, and I know that I need a few spares. Ones that are different rinses, ones that are fine for thin days and not-so-thin days, ones that have different lengths for different shoes. Jean shopping is one reason why I want it to be fall already!

I've started buying Husby's jeans online since they are a tricky size (really long, small waist). I think I just may order a few pairs and stash them in a drawer in case an occasion such as this happens, when Husby is forced to wear unlaundered jeans or fashion pants.

I searched for his pants this morning again after our little baby was down for a nap, and found them on a shelf in our closet with my maternity jeans. That made me giggle! He would have never looked there.


Just for kicks I tried on the maternity jeans. Didn't fit! So, feeling a bit confident, I pulled out my non-pregnant jeans. Well, more like tailored trouser-like jeans. But non-preggo nonetheless! And I am wearing them now. Of course, with a longer shirt to camouflage my still non-abbed up tummy.

Here's a photo of our Darling Dear.
He's pointing to where he "marked"the wall during an early morning diaper change.

This I Appreciate: Long, Hot Shower.

Back when I was younger, I took long showers. The water pressure at my parents' home and in the dorms was AMAZING. And the little massage shower head option was not bad!

When I moved in our married home, I quickly noted the lack of water pressure and the expense of our water bill. I became a bit more cognizant of the water I was using, and tried to waste less. I also began multi-tasking while I washed up, mentally planning out the day's lessons and my to do list.

This week, I went without a shower on Sunday and Monday and clear until Tuesday night. It was always something... the baby needing attention, company, house chores, exhaustion... and so when Husby came home on Tuesday night, I plopped the baby in his arms and let him take charge of him.

And I enjoyed a long, hot, luxurious shower. I didn't even feel guilty about the energy and water I was using (after all, I'd saved on it the last 2 days!).

I felt the hand of God so much then, allowing me to relax and take a deep breath. I realized most of the day my prayers had been more of begging, pleading... please, put this baby at peace, please give him some rest so I can rest, please take care of my little one, please let me have time to regroup... I began to pray a new prayer... Thank you Lord for this comforting shower, thank you for giving me a partner to share the chores of the baby with, thank you for soothing me right now, thank you for refreshing my spirit...

I hope Husby will offer to care for the baby when he returns home again tonight because I think my soul could use another long, hot shower... or perhaps a quality pedicure.

We love our baby.

Because he is cute.
Because he is half him, half me.
Because we love each other.
Because each day he learns new things.
Because he is ours.
Because he is His.

And just because.