What a Thoughtful Christmas Giftie

On the Monday of Christmas, my BFF Ann sent us a winter flower ensemble. She knew that I missed getting flowers at work, and that I would be extremely happy to receive them. It seems that my little boy liked them, too! He wanted to explore them everytime he saw them. He even knocked the vase over two times trying to get a closer inspection!

Thaks, A and J for the lovely gift. I appreciated it! I am sure both boys liked it, too.

My Worst Habit.

Okay.. you might think I'll write about chewing my nails when I anxious. 

Or my tendancy to interupt during phone conversations.

Nope.  Its locking my keys in the car.

I did it today for probably the nineteenth time (seriously).  You'd think I would have the number for the tow truck or locksmith on speed dial!

Thank goodness for road side service with my insurance policy; I just mail the $40 receipt to American Family for reimbursement.

I'd like to think that becoming a parent made me more organized and better at checking and double checking for safety.  But it hasn't. 

And no... the little boy wasn't in the car when the keys got locked in.  Just the keys were in the car.  And my sweet tea, and I was rather parched!

 

Miscellany...

- Dear son's proportions are changing.  His eyeballs are getting bigger, but his other facial features have stopped growing in relation to his face-size.   He is also slimming down a bit.  Its odd how I can notice he has lost weight... probably in the six ounces ranges... but I can't tell if I have gained or lost five pounds.

- I realized I spent two whole days makeup free this week.  No eyeliner.  Only lipchap and lotion.  And I think I didn't even look in the mirror and sigh about my appearance once.

- I started a Bible study, but don't think I will finish it at the pace of the other ladies in the group.  So I am going to do it solo, which means that I will learn a bit less and have less accountability for it.

- My sister told me she started a blog once, but that it is really anonymous and its more of a journal.  This makes me insanely curious.  I wish I could know her as intimately as perfect strangers know me (or at least the Mrs. Haid version of myself).

- I bought chard today.  Rainbow Swiss Chard.  Its for a soup recipe I am going to make this week.  I eyeballed the escarole, thinking about buying it, but wondering just how many greens I can handle in the crisper.  There's also spinach, cabbage, curly parsley, and cilantro. Plus two bag salad mixes.

- I cooked with red. purple, and yellow miniature potatoes last night for dinner.  It was pretty neat.  I think that I would have really been excited about vegetables as a child if we had purple potatoes! As it was, we loved to eat most vegetables if they were smothered in cheese!

- I've gotten the day care situation worked out.  DHH will be staying at a family that has several young children AND a day care liscense.  I feel pretty confident that this mom is THE BEST choice... afterall, she has had eleven babies of her own who are all at least two years older than this baby, and they are excellent, clever citizens of the world.  I certainly hope that DHH doesn't want to be adopted to that family.  We still need our practice at parenting!

- I have two friends who have twins after the fertility doctors doubting any biological children will be in their future.  Isn't this amazing?  God really answered their prayers ... actually, more than answered their prayers! Both girls don't have their babies home yet.  Well, one set of twins is in the NICU and will be home mid January, and the other set of twins are only 18 weeks into their gestation, so they are technically at home with their mother, but not in the sense that is cute and cuddley.

- I receieved a camera for Christmas.  I cannot believe how the prices in cameras have gone down in four years! Its amazing.  For what we paid, which was significantly less than the amount of my other camera, we got way more mega pixels and zoom.  Unfortunately, I don't like the way it takes pictures.  They seem rather grainy for some reason.  Like newsprint  It could be a flaw in this individual camera, but Crutchfield is accepting the return!  I love that store. So, I'm back to shopping for a camera.

- I'm going to enjoy some warm brownies and cold milk and perhaps an episode of The Office Season 5 while the snow falls and my son naps.  This is a GREAT snow day!

 

Resolution: Less Facebook. I Mean, Seriously. I've Had It for Like Seven Years. Its Not Helpful, Really.

And here is a silly app of a status collage.

The Joys of Christmas Shopping....

This year, I purchased the bulk of my packages online! The rest came from an antique mall, Kohl's, and Target.

It seems like almost daily, I'd check websites like STLMommy for coupon codes or watch prices and for special one-day sales online.  This was my morning naptime routine.

It was so much fun to purchase online because I was able to spend less on products, thereby getting more gifts for family.

I also loved gretting our UPS guy on a semi-daily basis.  He's really nice, and I met him this spring as I was purchasing tons of baby gear online and having large packages shipped home.  He's seen my son grow bigger and older, which is also kind of neat.  I don't know this guy's name, but he knows mine and has some sort of idea about my consumer habits! Kind of interesting.

I have to say though, its quite different shopping online.  Buying a shirt from Oldnavy.com isn't the same as going to the store and seeing the maniquins dressed up in cheerful scarves and coats.  And there's no festive, wordless muzak being piped in at an online bookstore.  No large snowflake cutouts hanging from the ceilings of Target.com. 

I like shopping, especially Christmas shopping.  Its so fun to go into the Christmas candy aisle or ogle the scads of rolls of delightfully printed wrapping papers.  Its so easy for me to get carried away and buy more Christmas accessories though.  There are less spontaneous buys online, I'm afraid.  But then... don't I need some holiday M&Ms? Or more Scotch tape?

And no chances to tell the customer service reps Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! or be cheerful to other shoppers.  I kind of like sipping my hot chocolate and browsing the goods in a real, tangible store.

Of course, there's something to be said for shopping at home. I don't have to really look presentable in public, and I could fix my own hot chocolate and turn on the 24 hour Christmas radio station.

I wonder if I will ever have a year of exclusive online shopping or exclusive retail store shopping? 

This Was Our Christmas Card Photo.

I really like it. We all look good, but not one of us looks way better than the others. That's hard to accomplish with a 4 month old who is super cute!

We - who am I kidding, I sent them all out!- over forty cards. I d0n't know the exact number, but I do know it was more than two books of stamps. I didn't plan for this, so many people got Hawaii stamps on their cards instead of the classic Christmas stamps. Oh well! Mele kalikimaka!

I decided that next year I will send out a Christmas letter. This year I received one from a large family we know through softball season and the general community, and it was a real blessing to me. It was neat to read about how all the kids are growing and to get a glimpse into a happy family's everyday life. I know our letter will be brief in comparison, but I do hope that the next year is happy and encouraging to others.

I only received about twelve cards this year. That's really unusual! I actually didn't get any from my immediate family... and only two from cousins and two from aunts! However, I wasn't disappointed in the amount. I really enjoy the card making and sending process, and I know that mail is important to many people, especially older people who don't have the opportunity to visit or see many people through the day. Maybe they were as happy to see our card as I am to get mail on the days when SAHM seems particularly lonely or monotonous.

Merry Christmas past, dear readers!

A Different Kind of Discomfort/Pain

I've cried out because of pain before.  Yeah, that happens each time I whack my elbow, deliver a baby sans epidural, or get a dry socket at the wisdom tooth extraction site.  Luckily, these things don't happen too often (except for the general clumsy funny bone thing).

Today, I listened and watched my son go through pain.  He is cutting a tooth.

His screams are agony for me, too.  It hurts my head and my heart to hear him.

It makes me wish that I could give him Baby Vicodan, not just Baby Tylenol.

Or that he could just be toothless his whole life.

One Tall Order...

Several weeks ago, I started taking photos of my son in the chair in his nursery with a sign indicating his age and the date, like this:

At the same time, I began to write down his milestones and daily events in letter form.  These week letters have become a labor of love.  I am about three weeks behind in these letters, so during the current week, I write a rough draft that is often a list of events or phrases to trigger memories.  Even so, I am finding it hard to keep track week to week, and I wonder how long I can continue this process.  I am in a pickle.

I really do like the intent I have behind this project, and I think it will be a really neat memento, along with the baby blog I've kept for him since the beginning of our pregnancy.

I know I can't keep up more than one weekly letter to subsequent children.  Perhaps I will do monthly ones, or create a really long narrative for birthdays. 

Inside Look at the Nativity

This Christmas our family was blessed to portray the Holy Family in our church's production of A Baby Changes Everything. 

My husband was very hesitant about being on stage, wearing Bethlehemian garb, and acting the part of Joseph.

I, however, was not.  I enthusiastically signed my family up for the performance.  I was excited to be a part of a show because I love to perform, be backstage, and have an influence as an actor over an audience.

It seems that our son takes after me.  He adored the attention of lullabyes directed towards him.  He watched the stage lights and the spotlight, followed the choir director's hand motions with his gaze, and cooed at the actors who held him.  He fell asleep during one of the shows when we put him in the manger.  In another show, he squealed in delight when the children came to see him and even reached for one girl's hand.  After the shows, he smiled at those who came to greet us.  Yes, he was a little star.

This performance gave us the opportunity to consider what it would be like to be Mary and Joseph.  I carried Baby H around for the bulk of the show, and I realized that Mary probably would have done the same. She didn't have infant swings or carseats for her donkey.  I imagine she fashioned some sort of sling to carry him, because after only one of the service shows, my biceps were aching!  I would hand the baby off to another person, and then Husby would hand him to me before we entered the stage.

I also considered the long ride to Bethlehem afoot and on a donkey while being full term. How uncomfortable! I loved reclining on my couch during the end of my pregnancy, and so I can't imagine not having a comfortable place to just relax my weary body into.

 And, if Mary and Joseph hadn't known each other very well before the trip, I imagine they did afterwards.  After spending such a long time together, I imagine they became quite close.  I think they had a special bond of both seeing an angel of God and could relate to each other about their nervousness and their amazement.  My husband and I are really good friends, and anytime we have a long car ride together, I feel we are closer because we have lots of time to talk and think aloud to each other.  I think Mary and Joseph might have also enjoyed the time to get to know each other better on their long journey.

In our performance, the innkeeper who had no extra room in her establishment was a devout Jew.  She recalled the prophesy and looked for the Messiah.  She witnessed to a Roman accountant about her beliefs and taught her children about God and his special care.

How difficult it would be for me to have such faith!  Now, I have the New Testament to tell me about Jesus and his life, as well as about how I should live according to God's will.  If I only had the Old Testament with so many rules to keep and so much mysterious prophesy... could I be faithful? Could I really hope for a Messiah to set me free?  I feel so lucky to have access to God's word now, rather than just have it told to me in a synagogue, and to be able to read.  Those are things the innkeeper would not have had.

Also, I have always imagined Jesus being born in a lonely stable with only his mother and step-father.  I know how scary the birth of a firstborn is, and I imagine that Mary had probably a little experience with birthing, but of course, not first hand experience.  And Joseph probably had VERY little experience, and perhaps very little medical experience, too.  Maybe he had been around animals giving birth and had some idea of what to do.  Mary and Joseph were really brave to deliver Jesus and keep him safe and alive that first night.

In the script, Mary had assistance from the innkeeper and her servants.  They helped her by bringing warm and clean blankets.  I had never thought about this in this way.  My husband was very good at communicating my needs to the medical staff at our delivery, so it makes sense that Joseph would have gone to ask for help and would have advocated for Mary.  Somehow, I really like this picture of Jesus's birth, because it makes me feel so satisfied with the care and love Joseph could have for his new family.

For this show, my husband often put his arm around me and our son and gave me his hand for balance.  It is very easy for him to do this because we are married and have a loving relationship.  Mary had not yet married Joseph, and so Joseph might have felt uncomfortable offering her physical attention like this.  I think because they had their baby away from their hometown, Joseph might have had a better chance to bond with his new family free from the social pressures. 

I also think about bowing to a baby.  These people believed the infant was the Son of God and knew he was a King.  They had so much expectation for the little one; yet, he was still a baby.  He was still needy even though he was going to be the Savior.  I am impressed by how people could honor a baby and give him such respect.  I don't think most people respect babies or children today - they expect them to respect them!  What a change of thinking.

The first time I saw my baby, I thought about how he was mine and our son.  Mary would not have had the same experience.  She would have still felt that mothering bond, but she would know that Jesus was not hers.  He was Gods!  He belonged to all the people of the world!  What an change from my reality. She really had to give up her sense of entitlement and ownership because one day her Son would die, and she could not prevent it.  She had to share him.  That is something very difficult for new moms to do.

I feel I was blessed by this experience because I was given pause and an opportunity to really consider what it would have been like to care for a newborn while traveling with few provisions and little experience.  Mary would really have had to rely on God, whereas I could probably have ignored God and relied on modern medicine, materialism, and my own intellectual knowledge.  This was a really humbling and informative experience for me.

A Baby Changes Everything (in the small sense of my family and in the large sense of Chrisendom)

Photo taken at Christmas pageant this year. 

This Christmas, I've reflected about the birth of our Savior through the lens of a new parent. 

I've always thought that thinking of Christ as an infant was especially neat, but now that I know more about babies than ever, its even more neat.

I mean... Jesus was a REAL, real little guy once.  Yeah, he was an adult when he did the whole miracles and cruxification and redemption of our sins... but... he was a baby! Just like my kid!

I never thought about Jesus having dirty diapers.  Or that he was a breastfed baby.  Or that his mother had to help him burp, had to trim his nails so he wouldn't injure himself, and had to carry him around until he could walk.

This year, Christ seems more like a real figure to me, rather than just a non-tangible image.  I still feel that God's Son is holy and wonderful and should be praised, but I feel also like I can relate to him more as a human being, too.

My life has changed so much because my son was born.  I have a different identity as his mother.  I have different responsibilities, too.  The way I relate to other people is slightly changed, as in I related as a daughter to my mother differently, to women who are pregnant right now, to other mothers.  I think I respond and interact a bit differently because of this motherhood experience.

So too should my life be different because the Son of God was born.  I have a different identity as his daughter.  I have different responsibilities, too.  The way I relate to others should be dramatically changed, as in how I participate in the lives of other Christians and how I bless and influence the lives of non-believers.  I know I must respond and act differently because of this Christmas experience.

Yes, it is quite easy to see how my baby changed everything in my life, but it is also quite clear that THE Baby changed everything for my life, too.

I just love how God uses little pictures in our lives to help us know more about Him. 

Christmas Traditions

Growing up, my family had lots of holiday traditions.

Baby H's first time seeing our tree.

 
 We had an advent calendar that was a countdown to December 25th, and we used to race to get up to move the little mouse over to the next date.  It was really exciting to see him move closer and closer to the end of the month and then to finally rest on Christmas morning.  Back then, I didn't even know there were calendars that had chocolate coins or special presents behind each number.  Moving that little mouse and having the anticipation of being one day closer to Christmas was its own reward.

Photo from my first Christmas, 1982. My last Christmas as an only child!

Another tradition in my family has been to have a special Christmas breakfast, complete with fancy china and special, not ordinary foods.  I think my mom told us that Santa had set the table for us, because it was always done before we woke up. I never remember hearing the dishes clank, though!  We would have different types of food each year - sometimes fruit pizza or French toast or quiche.  We would also have some foods each year, like Little Smokies sausages and hot chocolate.  Usually there would be a small wrapped gift on our plates or in the dining room for us.  I remember one year, I really wanted a watch.  I think that is all I actually wanted.  I was happy with the clothes and music and neat other toys I got, but I felt sad and a little guilty because I only wanted a Minnie Mouse watch. I didn't even remember that we got gifts on the table, so I was SUPER suprised and happy when I opened up the perfect watch!

Photo from my first Christmas, 1982

We have always had REALLY good stockings.  My mom sold Avon for awhile, so there were fun little treats in there during those years.  I wish she still did that... I would love some new liner and jewlery! Because my sister Rachie was the early riser and my other sister Jess was the sleep-er-in-er, it was a compromise to start stockings before the large gifts.  We'd open our stockings first and play with those toys while Mom made coffee and everyone got settled.  Last year, my mom tried to give us our childhood stockings!  We were none too pleased.  I wanted them to stay there and not to break the set of cute, pastel cartoony red stockings.  The stockings for our parents and husbands didn't really match them, but that was okay. 

Photo from Chrismas 2007, when my sister moved back home from a semester at Disneyland and we had a January Christmas.

I never thought these traditions were very special until I visited Husby's family for Christmas.  They don't do any of these things!  I started to really appreciate what I have.  His family opens gifts on Christmas Eve (or at least they have for the last five years!), naps and watches Its a Wonderful Life, and goes to midnight Mass.  After Mass, my MIL makes a big breakfast and there is a lot of chatter and fun.  They have special stockings that their Grandma L made them.  She has actually made all of her children and grandchildren ones that are really similar - with a dog, fireplace, cat, and tree on them.  I find this really neat!  And selfishly, I felt sad that I didn't have one and that Baby H doesn't have one, either.  I think I just wanted to be a part of the tradition!

Quintessential Landolt Christmas photo from 2007.

Another thing his family does is take a family photo on Grandma L's stairs.  They have individual family shots, grandkid, kids, and in law pictures in the same place every year.  Its really neat to see how families have changed hairstyles or had growth spurts.  This year, we had our first family photo on the stairs.

Our family, 2009.

I like going home, and I like some of the traditions that Husby's family has.  However, I want to start traditions of my own.  Our own. For our own family.  I don't want to stuff the Jeep full of gifts and luggage and scurry between hometowns at 3 AM between Christmas Eve and Christmas day much longer!  I never did this as a child, and for some reason, I feel its really important to wake up in your own house with your own tree and your own family for Christmas morning. 

With the fantastic Columbia Mall Santa! 2009

That being said, I don't have any real plans to start our own little Haid family Christmas.  Maybe when our brother and sisters are married and have their own children, our parents will take turns visiting us.  I think that would be really great. Of course, they might be resistant to it because its a new thing, and because of course its so lovely to be in your own home for all the holidays!

Christmas morning 2008, family time playing Wii.  First time I ever DIDN'T wake up at Chrismas at my parents' house

Husby does put up great Christmas lights every year, and for the past two years we've invited Korean guests over for a special and traditional American Christmas meal.  We do always watch Christmas Vacation early in the season.  We hang mistletoe up on our door frame, which is a lovely love tradition.  We hosted four lovely Christmas parties at our house, and I LOVED having our friends over and making fussy foods and having peppermint Scnapps hot chocolates. 

My first Landolt family photo from 2004, when I wasn't yet Mrs. Haid, just Ms. Douglas.

I'd  really like to go to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  I think its really meaningful to sing Christmas hymns and hear a message from Luke about the birth of our Savior.  It was so special being in the Christmas pageant this year.  I hope our family can do it again some time. It will be our son's last appearance as Jesus, I'm afraid!  A friend at church told us that we had three months to conceive another baby if we want to be  M and J again!  We laughed that one off... awkward!

Engaged for three months! 2004 at my parents' home.

I would like to have matching family stockings... perhaps needlepointed ones that are sold by Lands End, Eddie Bauer, or JCPenny.  I love how traditional they look and how it feels to have a personal stocking.  However, we have no mantel, fireplace, staircase, or good shelf to hang them on.  Where would we put them... on the fridge?  Under the tree?  Placed on the sofa?  On the bathroom towel rack?  So, I think I will wait until I can answer this question!

I was 13 weeks pregnant, but they didn't know it yet! Christmas 2008

I would like to have special Christmas jammies each year, too.  I saw that on a TV show this year.  The grandfather buys everyone special pajamas, and then everyone opens one gift on Christmas Eve while drinking hot cocoa.  That sounds amazing!

Christmas 2006

Sending a family Christmas card with a letter that shares our families major stories and blessings, as well as a few photos.  I've always felt silly sending one out until now... maybe there is more to read about.  Or maybe I could just send a link to this blog!

Nel, thanks for asking me these questios.  I hadn't ever written about these things and I appreciate the time to reflect!  Also... to my family... I only had a few pictures on this laptop from our Christmasses.  Sorry there are more Haid Family Stair pictures... it just happened that way!

Ways I Am a Bit Grinchy-er Than I'd Have Ever Though Possible This Year

1.  My presents aren't wrapped with perfectly folded corners.  The careful oragami I usually preform didn't happen this year.  And the tape is sloppy, too.

2. I didnt' buy any new wrapping paper or tags.  I used what we had from last year.  Usually, I love to buy new.  Though, I may have bought new last year at after sales, so ... maybe this is a good example.

3. I didn't get stockings for our family this year.  I always inteded to get ones for me and Husby, and of course, our children... but I lost interest this year when I couldn't decide where to hang them.  No mantel... no stair case... perhaps the fridge?

4. Only the tree is decorated, not the tops of the cabinets, not the windows, not the chandeliers, not the countertops, not the bedrooms. 

5. We had the tree in our garage for three days before I gave the go ahead to get it put into the tree stand in the living room. I just felt like the piles of laundry had to move first!

6.  It took three days to fully decorate the tree.  I did it in brief jags too, not in the usual burst of energy and elation.

7.  I just got out the Christmas CDs... we've been listening to Christmas radio, which isn't quite the same.

8. I didn't have a count down to Christmas this year, probably because I didn't have a countdown to Christmas Vacation for the first time in ... 21 years!!! Gosh!

9. Christmas cards mailed out on the 17th, not the first week.

10.  Mostly online shopping... which means I didn't see the Christmas decorations in the stores or be a part of the energy that is shopping during the Holidays.

11.  I've been telling people my normal, "Have a great day!" as a goodbye rather than, "Have a Happy Christmas!"

12.  No Christmas scent candles in the house.

13. I didn't make a wish list.  I didn't have much at all that I was craving ... so I didn't make one.  That feels lame to me. 

14.  I didn't want to wrap any of Baby H's gifts, since he can't open them anyway.  I didn't really think he even should get gifts from us... since we get what he needs when he needs it, along with special treats that probably aren't so special since he gets them A LOT.

15. I am just wearing normal clothes for holiday events, not something sparkely or shimmery or red/green/silver/festive.

16.  I haven't watched my two favorite Christmas movies - A Muppet Christmas Carol or Jim Carrey's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.



Are these signs that I am scrooge-y? Or scrooge-y for an ordinarily peppy Christmas cheermeister?  Or could it be Seasonal Affect Disorder? Or am I just regular sad?  Or could I have post-partum depression that makes me feel only average on the holiday cheer meter? 

Since I wrote this post, I have actually bought a pine scented candle and watched "A Muppet's Christmas Carol". 

Baby's Largest Christmas Gift

Last weekend, we celebrated Christmas with one of our families.  We arrived at my in laws before lunch time, early for the afternoon party.  As soon as we got there, they scooped up our little son and rushed off to another room.  I could hear them whispering.  I suspected they were "Christmas talking". 

They were.

My MIL asked if it would be alright for the baby to open his gift early.  Of course, we agreed.  Shoot, he doesn't know today from Christmas Eve, so no big deal.

His grandparents were SO excited when they bought out an enormous present.  Yes, it was WAY bigger than him!

Then he threw up on it a little.

They helped him open it. 

Dad even got in on the action to help him out.

DHH grabbed the paper, while Dad pulled the baby to help the unwrapping process along.

He had to explore the wrapping paper.

They watched as his father set it up and I cleaned it for its first use.

Finally, it was ready!

This is one deluxe exersaucer! Lots of bells and whistles to keep a little boy hard at work.

And, who is more fun to watch?  The amused baby or the proud and amused grandparents?

 It had so many toys it was overwhelming for him.  So I took all but a few off. He played for awhile, but quickly tired. 

And then rested peacefully during nap time.

Thanks Grandma Becky and Grandpa Zeke for such a fun toy!

And thanks for giving me the opportunity to watch you interact with our son in such a way.