I read this post:
So basically, this post is chock full of rhetorical or reflective questions. Some are a little ridiculous, but others are worthwhile to consider, I think.
That post makes me wonder about my own motivations for doing the things I do. Of course, I think they are "best", otherwise I wouldn't do them.
But do I really need to use cloth wipes and diapers on vacations, too? Do I need to feel guilty buying Pampers? Do I sound judgemental when I talk about other moms using "chemical laden plastic diapers" on their babies (well, if I said that, I am sure I would be judgemental. Honest, but judgey!).
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| He really likes vacuums. Even fake ones. |
Did I really need to breast feed for the full first year? Did I need to feel guilty giving him a bottle of formula at 11 months 3 weeks because I was exhausted from BFing? I was bottle fed, for cripes' sake. Do I get some badge of honor for nursing my son? Do I feel like I deserve one?
Did I have to make his baby food? Did I ever sneer at the processed foods my friends fed their babies? If so, did I really give him that much better of a start with whole foods? Did it really make me a better mom?
Just because my son likes books, is that something I should claim as a bragging right? Is it his natural tendency or is it something I did by reading to him before every nap and bedtime?
Should I feel ashamed that he's still enjoying the Bink at one year, when I didn't even want to give him one as a newborn? What does it mean about my parenting style if I am pro-pacifier? And that I bought the pricey MAM and Avent ones (lots and lots of them)?
And what about babywearing? Does it make me a better mom, really? Dr. Sears says so. So do the companies I supported by buying a few hundred dollars of their merchandise.
What else do I do that is probably unworthy of bragging rights, and what do I really get to feel proud about?
I actively chose to nurse, make food, use cloth, buy less babyjunk, use baby carriers, and promote literacy to my kid. I think I can be proud of the fact that I did the parenting things that I WANTED to do and that I didn't feel pressured to by a parenting guru or a well-meaning relative.
At the end of his infancy, I hope that instead of bragging about what my kid can do or when he did it, I hope that I just feel content about how I related to my son and that I did the very best I could.
I also hope that I can encourage others to do the best that they can, too, and even if it comes off a little braggy, be willing to share and suggest the ideas that helped our family survive the first year of parenthood.
Well, guess what- I found a junk mailbox that I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD- and your comment about this blogpost of mine was inside it. I somehow never saw this before today!
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I think the way you are raising your son is lovely and sweet and very close to my own ideals. I don't think there is any problem with doing things for our kids because we feel convicted about them.
I do think, though, that sometimes people do things not because they are convicted, but because they want to brag. For example, so people are into early potty-learing and elimination communication. They are very convicted about this approach. Others simply decide to push potty training at an unusually young age (perhaps their toddler went on the potty once or twice successfully and they become CONVINCED that their baby is SO SMART AND ADVANCED), when really having a few potty successes does not indicate potty-training readiness. But they push through, to convince themselves and others that THEIR BABY IS SO SMART. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, thank you for the link and comments. And I love your baby's cloth diapered little bum!