Wedding Anniversary #5 Goes Down in the Record Books as Mild Mannered, Plus Park Photos From Memorial Day

So this weekend the baby and I had ugly head colds.  The mucousy, gravely voice, aching neck muscles, and ears aching kind.  It was not a pleasant  36 hours! 

Though it was our fifth wedding anniversary (and I'd not-so-secretly hoped for a romantic getaway adventure to say, Hawaii),we elected to go out of town and surprise my Grandmother by doing yard work.  Her yard and landscaping and sidewalks are a mess and have gone from mere weeds to bushes and dangerous terrain.  We're talking A LOT OF WORK to be done.  Unfortunately, no one has stepped up to do this, and when my mom suggested we try, my husband jumped on board and became quite enthusiastic.  "We cannot pay for the materials, but what we lack in monetary efforts we can double in hard work with our hands." He had a four day weekend off of work, and so it seemed like a perfect weekend.

But we got sick, so we couldn't go.  I was so ill that I couldn't even bear to sit on the patio furniture and water our garden.  Super pathetic, right?

Our fifth wedding anniversary consisted of eating Take and Bake Pizza from HyVee and wrangling our crawling son from spilling our Pepsis on the carpet.  Also: watching Wife Swap (I've mentioned here that I am a big reality TV junkie, right?  Its for that reason, not that we're interested in swapping or whatever!).  We did have some great conversations and er, enjoyment of each other's company... but it sure as heck was not Hawaii!

Five years ago, I really imagined that is where we would be.  Totally.  Because seven years ago, when we were still twenty, we watched a Beach Week marathon on the Travel Channel and he turned to me and said, "I cannot wait to go there with you! I promise to take you there one day."  For that five month anniversary card (for we made each other month anniversary cards that first year!) he wrote Hawai-I-Love You on the front and drew an image of us playing on a beach.  I totally thought we'd go there for a honeymoon, but then we married a week after undergrad and two weeks before graduate school... and I was a graduate student who was not independently wealthy... so we did not go there on a honeymoon.

So I thought, oh, yeah, five years from now we'll probably celebrate in Hawaii.  We'll have money, we won't be old or fat or wrinkled or too tired to enjoy hiking Diamond Head, so it will be cool!  Sexy and romantic and in our late twenties!

But, I didn't work this year and we've got a nursling, so that dream didn't become a reality. 

And we didn't travel down to my parents' home to spend time taking care of Gramma's yard, either.  It wouldn't have been pleasant for me to do all that manual labor while being sick (well, won't be pleasant when I am healthy, either! I don't really like yard work. Its just not a pleasant thing!) and it would not have been pleasant for my mom to care for a sick baby who only wants his mother to hug him and hold him to sleep. 

We've spent oodles of time together reading, talking, and etc this weekend, so I am over all happy with this fifth year anniversary.  We didn't pull out our wedding photo album or the DVD, but Husby did grill pork steaks at 8:30 AM this morning (to avoid possible rainshowers), so I had BBQ for breakfast, and that was pretty cool. 

We also went to a park where I took these photos:

We did feel well enough to get bored of the house and need some sunshine! So glad we took a trip to the park instead of another nap!

This is how Husby relaxed while I took the baby around the park.

Third sun hat of the season.  Where did those other two go? Luckily, Husb found this one at Target for $4!

Latest trick: drinking from a straw.  He totally loves it!

Still getting a lot of mileage out of this awesome stroller!

He's not a tropical island with an all inclusive resort, but he is pretty fantastic nonetheless.

Fun With a Baby Just Gets Better and Better!

When I first became a mother, I heard an old adage over and over:

"It goes so fast. They grow so fast. Time will fly, so treasure each moment".



I am certain these people were wizened by their own experiences of parenting. And it is true; children grow at an alarming rate. I think the advice givers felt sentimental when sharing these thoughts with me.

Perhaps I will repeat this advice to friends (or strangers!) with newborns. But perhaps not.

I do remember how time goes so SLOWLY as you are trying to soothe a screaming newborn. How long it feels the nursing session lasts during a growth spurt and how you might just want to get on with life already, but the baby just keeps nursing. Oh, and how short the sleeping intervals are from weeks four to month four and how those days seem to creep by after a particularly restless night and all you want is for some sleep and nap time already (loooooooong time).

I think instead I will tell the new parent that it does get easier, get better, and go more quickly as time goes on. I have become a pro at swaddling, shushing, and soothing a newborn into calmness. The older infant nursing sessions get actually kind of short (8 minutes compared to 45! Which means 37 less minute to have own's feet up and settle into a somewhat peaceful rest). Also, that the baby will start to sleep longer and longer stretches at a time because you've taught him how to put himself back to sleep and that independence equals at least six or seven consecutive hours of Mom sleeping time.

I will tell the new parent, "Believe me - it gets WAY better! You might not think it can because your heart is exploding with love for this child who is genetically part you and part your spouse and an incredible little miracle, but life gets so much more fun with a 10 month old as compared to an infant. You can make him laugh and he can make you laugh and everyone gets their rest and can experience the world together in new ways, rather than just as a mama propping up her baby to see her view of the world. Trust me, life gets WAY better!".

And way more fun.

We're Sick-y

We are under the weather. 
Weekend plans cancelled.
Baby's cries of discomfort are hoarse and pitiful.
I moan and picture the inside of my ears looking like bloody caverns with sand in them.
Being a mom when the baby is sick is not fun.
Being a sick mom with a sick baby is less fun.
It must be awful for him, not knowing that this ear/nose/throat/chest misery will end one day.   Its all he knows right now and he cannot comprehend why he feels this poorly.
Our appetites have waned.
We are both getting edgy and bored of the home. 

I feel so thankful for healthy times when conditions are like this. 
Because times like this are miserable.

And here is a "I'm Sick-y"photo of the baby.  I am not interested in publishing one of me because I have been avoiding mirrors and wearing sunglasses while in public to hide my exhausted, red eyes.

Even with the husb and dad home for a four day weekend - still pretty hard to bear.

Choices

My friend Tiffany wrote about the choices mothers face.  She specifically addressed the luxuries we have to get to choose these choices. 

I got this stair for him to practice climbing.

Historically, women couldn't really choose if they wanted to be mothers or not.  There wasn't a such thing as effective birth control, there were so few roles women could play outside of the home and family, and being a single woman was often not a realistic choice when it came to survival.  This is really interesting to me.  Perhaps the inner conflict I am facing of not really adoring staying in the home and cooking and cleaning and washing diapers and reading up on infant brain development to assure my child maximizes his learning potential... perhaps I feel conflicted because I just know what it is to be a woman who finds meaning in other things besides children and families, while I am still learning what it feels like to find and appreciate my value as a mother.

He scurried up it.

Tiffany also addressed a good point - Did the people who struggle with the choice to work or stay at home full time discuss this before marriage or before children?  Was there a game plan already in place?

For me, there was not a game plan in place and so that is why pregnancy and job contracts seemed so surprising and confusing to me.  I don't know why I never pictured myself as a mom of an infant, but I certainly did not.  I didn't picture myself as a SAHM or a working mom.  And my husband never spoke of a preference, either.  His mom worked as a preschool teacher, so his child care actually involved his mom while she was at work.  He does let me know how great of a job he feels l am doing and how sometimes he envies my position in the home when it comes to knowing my baby best out of all in the world. That is a nice thing.

He surveyed the room from a different perspective.

But I do wish we'd discussed this and talked finances and talked "if you or I don't work, we really can't afford a vacation or wardrobe updates each season or going out to eat once a week (or more)".  Or if we'd said, "if both of us work, our baby will spend most of his day with non-family and might grow so fast we regret missing moments with him".

He seemed to like being up there and seemed to feel proud of his accomplishment.

I feel lucky that I am living in a time when I got to choose to get an education, select a husband of my own choice, and choose if I wanted a child.  I can choose so many things that sometimes the choices are a bit overwhelming.  I think I need to develop some confidence in my choices and then follow them with gusto (reckless abandon).

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This photo marks the start of whimpering and crying.  He was confused and could not get down! I left him to problem solve at first.  

But I realized after a minute, he really did not know how to get down and felt afraid.  I helped him out and we've been practicing going feet first down each day.

Five Years Into Happily Ever After...

And I realize that fairy tales focus mostly on the Getting to the chapel/Enchanted forest/Riding into the sunset" part instead of the Ever After part.

Which is weird, because that is really the best part, isn't it?  All the rising action leads up to it, yet it is not at all a conclusion.  Its a new chapter, and with any luck, there will be way more chapters in the Ever After than in the Dating/Romance/Engagement portion of our life.

The last five years have been much better than the more glamorous dating and engagement part of our relationship, though we've got less diamonds and dinners out and getaways than we did before marriage.  Its still WAY better to be with your BFF every day and all night than to live apart or to have separate lives.

They have also been less exciting than the May 28 2005 and less full of cake and dancing and friends, but that's okay, too.  Those less exciting times were like calm interludes in which our lives together were made.

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Two more things that can be added to the Dumb Things I Did label associated with this blog. (Yeah, click on the tag and see just how many of them there are!!)

Locked keys in the car while buying bananas at grocery store.
Left cell phone in said grocery store after Jeep was unlocked.

Blech. I hate to make mistakes like this!  They are sheepish mistakes that make me feel like one day I will lock my child in a car or lock my cell phone in the car with the child or leave my child in the store with the bananas with only my cell phone. Or something.

But at least I didn't lock the baby in the car or leave the baby in the grocery store after the Jeep was unlocked.  That would be pathetic.

The Horned Melon Tasted Like...

Aloe vera and cucumber. 

 

I didn't love it.  The fruit is sort like pomegranate in that you don't necessarily eat the seed, just the pulp.  And like pomegranates, I didn't really enjoy it.

 

But I am glad that I bought it. It would be great for my family to try one new food each month, especially in the produce department!

Adventures with Fruits

My exotic friend Ann came to stay with me two times this spring.  Because she has lived in all kinds of fabulous places, I use the adjective "exotic" (like Papa New Guinea, Australia, San Fran, Texas, Colorado, Panama City Beach, etc)

I wanted to impress her and delight her, so I bought her this fruit surprise:

Don't recognize it?  Well, it's tag said: KIWANO, and upon further research, I found it is aptly nicknamed Horned Melon.

 We were so curious to learn about this little dude.  For three days, we speculated at what it would look like inside.  What it would smell like.  What it would taste like.

Boy, were we surprised to see GREEN PULP when we opened it up!

And the smell... it was like aloe vera mixed with cucumber and a kitchen cleaner.  It would be a perfect Bath and Body Works scent for the home!

Here's a closer look at this succulent fruit.

 So, here's some official info about horned melons, just as an FYI in case you'd like to know a bit more than the teensy details I provided.

Confession: I Think American Idol Is Dumb.

Maybe because I didn't get in on it during the first few seasons when I was in college or something. 
Maybe because most of the things I download from iTunes aren't current top twenty hits.
Maybe because I feel sorry for those people who put all their eggs in one basket and run away to live their dream even though they are not really musically gifted.
Maybe because I am just not that pop culture.
Maybe American Idol would think Mrs. Haid was dumb for not wanting to go to Hollywood or have a record label or be brave enough to sing karaoke in a bar.

So no... I didn't watch the season finale and I have no opinion about the judges or Ryan Seacrest.

 

So Tired.

Baby woke early at 6 AM. 

Then Husband left for work at 6:15 AM. 

I cleaned Under The Couch and In Between The Cushions.  Those hot spots are a real destination vacation for crumbs and dust!

I pondered the costs and benefits (intrinsic and financial) of attending nursing school.

I visited a friend and her kids.  There, I watched her little boy take quick, tip toe steps.  We discussed ways to make a baby's birthday a Don't BYOB affair because that's what I think is right for my son's first birthday, and I am having anxiety about beers and birthday cakes for a one year old if we do a family birthday party for him.

Saw a somewhat cute, construction boy waving at me.  Felt weirded out.  Felt more weirded out when I realized it was my brother in law.  He looks a lot like my husband did five years ago!  He was actually waving to his nephew. 

At library, a friend's daughter chased my son and planted a big, toothy kiss on his eyebrow.  He wasn't pleased.  She wasn't pleased by his lack of affection.

Sesame chicken and cantaloupe for lunch/dinner. 

Cleaned filters in vacuum (ew).

Watched Oprah and felt thankful I was not a child bride in a cult group (phew).

Husband home late after a meeting.  Is tired after a twelve hour work day.

 Neither of us could convince the baby that he hadn't eaten enough food for the day at only one baby yogurt, a quarter of a banana, and a half of a prepared container of organic veggies.  He didn't seem hungry at all today.  Wondering about that and if it has to do with his sinuses being really watery and the bloody stool a few days ago.

Nothing to watch on TV.  How I have forgotten the wasteland that is network TV in the summer?  How is it summer already?


 

So Much To Say To So Many Things

Dear LOST,

Last night was really weird without you.  I had my DWTS finale to fill the time slot vacancy, but I know there will be more sequins and cha cha chas in three months, so it didn't really fill the massive void of mythos and allegories and allusions that you created in our weekly television viewing. 

And we are still talking about you at our house.  Considering the implications of the writers' views of a life's purpose and death and afterlife and interconnectedness and reconsidering our view of those things, as directed by our Christian faith.

I can't wait for your release on DVD so I can watch all the special features.  Like the finale commentary.  That will be so good, won't it?

Oh and have a look at this video I found online.  It asks all the questions I am still curious about!


From:
Loyal Viewer

Dear Brooke Burke's wardrobe consultant for DWTS,

I think you played mean jokes on her all season.  Those were perfectly horrible dresses?  Did Samantha Harris hire you to get revenge for losing her sidekick announcer position?  Please be nicer to our eyes next season.  PLEASE.

And this one isn't even the worst.

Dear Ann,

Isn't it cool that we got to see three out of the ten weeks of DWTS together?  And those we didn't see, we texted about or were on the phone about?  And listening to our husband's comments was just as awesome.  I am feeling pretty excited that I predicted the top three and the winner .. better luck in next year's bracket.  Oh, and this WAS totally the best dance of the season... The future robot dance!

- Your Dancing Friend

Dear Baby,

You are so awesome.

Love,

 Mama Haid.

Dear New Redburn Boys,

You are so lucky.  You've got a support group of Americans who have loved you for so long.  And you can learn English!  Don't be too worried about that.  Most kindergartners don't speak the language all that well anyway.

From, One of your prayer partners.

To The Four Ten Hour Day Work Schedule,

Let's see how well we like having Husby home on Mondays, shall we? I bet it is a lot!

- No Longer a Single Parent 5 Days a Week - Just 4!

To Shannon Hale,

    I think we could be friends.  I actually don't think The Actor and the Housewife is at all plausible and isn't a book I'd recommend to anyone because I think its too Mormon-y and trite, but really, I am still reading it because I love your writing style.  I think your wit and word selection is impeccable.  I can really hear your voice in this and I think you're fabulous.  I also think this book reminds me of a 1960s Doris Day and Rock Hudson movie.  Not one in particular, but its -esque.  I think you'd understand because I just bet you've watched Please Don't Eat the Daisies and aren't really some ultimate sci-fi Battle star Galactica girl (at least I hope not so we can still be friends).

Sincerely, A Fellow Reader and Writer

Dear Bank Account:

   Notice how the savings hasn't changed in five months?  Hurray for my ability to curb expenses at Target, but dismal for my contribution to our income.  Can you some how take some vitamins and start growing?

- No Paycheck Girl

Dear Korean EPI Students:

I am going to meet you in six weeks.  I am excited to teach you English and to show you American life.  Can you please bring me some funny Korean baby clothes?  He has grown out of his funny Korean baby outfit already.  Oh, look in the two year old section, because this American 10 month old is probably the size of a Korean two year old.

 Dear Couch to 5K Running Program:

     Maybe I am not a "program" type girl.  I ran without following your cues yesterday.  Instead I followed my lung capacity and the inertia of the jogging stroller down and up neighborhood hills. But I totally rocked the running in hot weather.

- A runner hiding behind a walker's shadow.

Dear New Bachelorette,

All the new guys look the same.  Really, they do!  I think you must have told the producers that you have an ideal type.  That's okay.  I have one, too.  He is just taller, less cartoon-y in the face, and with great bone structure.  He's also a clever engineer who plays softball and loves babies.  I would totally recommend you try this type before some dude from Chicago who really likes to play guitar or wears way expensive shoes.  Just an idea.

- Happily Married Woman

Dear Wedding Anniversary,

   I hope you come with some excellent cake.  Frosting and layers and all.  And some romantic hand holding and presents and long walks on the beach or candlelit making out or something.  But please on the cake.

- Wife for Five Years

Dear Local Nursing Program,

I am considering you.  36 hours until I could be an RN.  Its kind of weird getting an associates after post-graduate work.  But... maybe.  I'd like working nights or weekends to be with family at home during other times.  At least I think so.

Dear Teaching Career:

I miss you.  I am not abandoning you.  I still want to teach middle school.  But I just wish that school was from 8PM to 3 AM so I could have the rest of the time free to do other things.

Dear Former Students:

Some of you are graduating this year!!! My first students ever, from student teaching 7th grade at Gentry... wow, you got really old.  I am so excited reading your names in the paper for scholarships or signing with sports teams.  Hurray! I hope I influenced you somehow.  And to the rest of you:  yes, you looked hot at prom.  You don't really need 300 pictures of you making kissy faces to the camera though.  You have cluttered my facebook with too many things I don't need to see as a mandatory reporter of dangerous underage behaviors!  But, yes, you looked really good!

Dear blog:

I hope someone volunteers to give you a professional design soon.  This version makes me want to read the posts only in google reader.

Love,

Weight, Body Image, Age, and Self Esteem Epiphany.

About ten days ago, I took a water aerobics class with my friend Ann.  Now, if you've been reading my daily biography that is this blog long, you'll know that I did the aquacise program during the last three months of my pregnancy with huge enthusiasm and gusto.

So anyway, its tradition in one of the instructor's classes to share Big News at the beginning of the class. Usually, people mention they went on a vacation to another climate, that their grandchildren are visiting, or that they are having hip surgery later that month (yes, the class members are OLD and I am the youngest!).  I shared with that my son was born (duh, they hadn't seen me in 9 months and I didn't look QUITE the same as the last time!) and they oohed and ahhed about that.

Then this little old lady piped up, "I had a good weigh in at WW this week!  Five more pounds until I reach my goal!". She beamed. 

The other class members clapped and celebrated her accomplishment.  I felt stunned.

This old lady is still worried about her physical appearance and doing diets at her age.  I bet she had been doing it her whole life.  She counts calories and minutes of exercise, she probably binges on sugary foods when she feels tired or sad, and she is still enduring the embarrassment of weekly weigh-ins.

Now, she might not just be chasing a number on the scale - perhaps there is some sort of underlying medical condition or whatever - but more than likely, she is still trekking on her Epic Diet Journey.  A lifelong quest for personal acceptance. How tragic!

 This event has triggered something in myself that makes me realize I want all this stupid weight, body image, self esteem, emotional response to food and diets, blah blah blah OVER so I can enjoy my old age.  This woman isn't enjoying her everyday life as an active older lady.  She is still in mental anguish and still trying to find acceptance and self worth from a scale.

I so don't want that for the rest of my life.  Hear that, stupid ED and your meanie thoughts?  I am not going to be like that old lady.  I am going to be content and victorious over those negative thoughts and time wasting behaviors. 

I wish I could get this over with and done, but realistically, with $325 / hour therapy, fifteen years of ED baggage, and (hopefully) a few more pregnancy opportunities, its not likely that I'll be in optimal recovery by the age of 30.  I wish, wish, wish though.

Snobby Mommy, Pretty Baby.

Here's an honest post for you.

We had our son's professional newborn photos at a private studio.  It was very swanky.  Maybe I should say it was very $wanky and $uper $pecial. I could al$o $ay the $pecial $e$$ions will be $parse for obviou$ rea$on$.

He had never been to WalMart or Sears or any of those "photographers in a box" type places that have fake backgrounds and silly, well used props.  I thought they were cheesy, a rip off, and produced super cheap looking pictures.

Can anyone say, "Snobby much?" because yes, I totally snobbed all over that photo scene.  I resisted relatives taking him to those places because I think the photographers usually make the babies look so silly sitting in tea cups or with fake snow or the like.  I hate stuff like that.

 Its like those pictures of babies wearing ties playing saxophones, like this. 

I know Anglea from The Office loves this type of stuff, but I don't!

So anyway, my mom had the idea to take my son's photo wearing a new summer outfit.  I felt tired and out of any arguments why we shouldn't.  I also like the outfit he wore and have given up hope of getting a new camera, DSLR or otherwise.

So we did.

We went to WalMart in the morning and he hammed it up for the photographer.  We went through the high pressure sales pitches and resisted.  We did get the cheapie package that was under ten bucks and added on several extras to make our total around $50. 

Here are some of the photos we took today, courtesy of the Picture Me picture people.

Eating a fake paint brush and looking so happy about it!

Looking so sweet in a fake bathtub, not wearing a shirt.  This is one of his cutest faces and rarely makes it anymore.  It was my favorite newborn expression.

I want to stand up in the the fake tub just like I do in my tub at home!  I will laugh and show you all my teeth!

I ordered wallets of these shots.  I love his little impish look!

He is a really cute little boy!

Notice his pointing finger is out and ready for action!  This is something he learned this week.

He looks like a CHILD not a baby!  And I think its really silly that he is standing up next to this wooden column.  Props like this make me judge photo companies like this because they are just SO cheesy!  I think its why I like to take photos with my camera and stuff he stands next to in real life.

I have a one year photo of myself in the same pose and with a similar expression.  This is one we ordered.

I think the background is silly, because of course he is American, but my mom really liked it.  Plus, I thought he would be born on the 4th of July last year.  He was actually born 23 days later.

No, we didn't go to a park.  Its a fake background.  And a fake bat and ball and glove.  But, he is just too precious here, so this is a package we ordered.

I think this is a sweet photo, too.  I love the shorts and the smile and the fact that it looks like my baby photos, not just my husband's!

He really had fun with that paint can!

We didn't get any of these type of shots, but that is okay.  He is precious anyway!

So I think I may have gotten over my stubborn snobbishness.  I think I'll take him to the Wal Mart some weekday for a $4.99 package they offer when he is well dressed, fresh off of a nap, and smiling sweetly.  That way I will have more ways to remember my precious child!