Non compliments get under my skin.

I had some jerk comment on my baby's blog that "your kid is not that cute, get over it."  It got under my skin.

Clearly, said jerk isn't a parent.
Or a nice person.
So I "rejected" the comment and deleted it forever.  Except the part that rubbed me the wrong way.

I keep that as an online baby book, and it is one place where I chronicle and herald his milestones.  Family members check it, as well as some of my friends.  I suppose this is the first time I've received negative feedback, so I shouldn't jump the gun and make it private, but I wonder... am I exposing my son to some risks?  There are inherent risks in posting pictures, though most of mine are flattering and look like this:

I think its pretty generic, but perhaps I am doing something that will embarrass sweet DHH in later years.  Perhaps I will rethink my choice to include him in my blog and instead just keep it private and publish it in a hard copy so it can remain on our bookshelves for pleasant reminders of his babyhood.

Parental Bragging Rights.

I read this post:

Life in Tiny Town...: Things Parents Do for Bragging Rights and think it is right on the money. Of course, I've only been parenting for one year now, but I have run across my fair share of braggy parents and wondered if I fall in their midst.

So basically, this post is chock full of rhetorical or reflective questions. Some are a little ridiculous, but others are worthwhile to consider, I think.

That post makes me wonder about my own motivations for doing the things I do. Of course, I think they are "best", otherwise I wouldn't do them.

But do I really need to use cloth wipes and diapers on vacations, too? Do I need to feel guilty buying Pampers? Do I sound judgemental when I talk about other moms using "chemical laden plastic diapers" on their babies (well, if I said that, I am sure I would be judgemental. Honest, but judgey!).

He really likes vacuums.  Even fake ones.

Did I really need to breast feed for the full first year? Did I need to feel guilty giving him a bottle of formula at 11 months 3 weeks because I was exhausted from BFing? I was bottle fed, for cripes' sake. Do I get some badge of honor for nursing my son? Do I feel like I deserve one?

Did I have to make his baby food? Did I ever sneer at the processed foods my friends fed their babies? If so, did I really give him that much better of a start with whole foods? Did it really make me a better mom?

Just because my son likes books, is that something I should claim as a bragging right? Is it his natural tendency or is it something I did by reading to him before every nap and bedtime?

Should I feel ashamed that he's still enjoying the Bink at one year, when I didn't even want to give him one as a newborn? What does it mean about my parenting style if I am pro-pacifier?  And that I bought the pricey MAM and Avent ones (lots and lots of them)?

And what about babywearing? Does it make me a better mom, really? Dr. Sears says so. So do the companies I supported by buying a few hundred dollars of their merchandise.

What else do I do that is probably unworthy of bragging rights, and what do I really get to feel proud about?

I actively chose to nurse, make food, use cloth, buy less babyjunk, use baby carriers, and promote literacy to my kid. I think I can be proud of the fact that I did the parenting things that I WANTED to do and that I didn't feel pressured to by a parenting guru or a well-meaning relative.

At the end of his infancy, I hope that instead of bragging about what my kid can do or when he did it, I hope that I just feel content about how I related to my son and that I did the very best I could.

I also hope that I can encourage others to do the best that they can, too, and even if it comes off a little braggy, be willing to share and suggest the ideas that helped our family survive the first year of parenthood.

Birthday Boy Photo Extravaganza

I have considered and re-considered my position about children's birthday parties since posting this a few weeks ago.

I really like my own birthday.  Even now, I feel excited for my birthday and enjoy having a slice of DQ Ice Cream cake or seeing envelopes in the mailbox and reading the cards that were selected for MY birthday.  But I don't expect a million comments on my Facebook page or for lots of people to remember. I don't expect presents or flowers.  I know some adults who do.  I guess that is okay, for them.

I still think that many parents set themselves up for challenges of raising a spoiled child because they do crazy-big birthday bashes when kids are small.  I know I'd feel competitive with other parents and my own expectations from the previous year.

So this year, we had a low key celebration.  It was a little less low key than I had anticipated, and as I expected, my son was a little freaked out by having six adults staring at him and calling to him and trying to get him to clap/wave/sing/come to grandpa/dance/play/look at the camera.

We invited both sets DHH's grandparents, Uncle Wes, and GGMa Landolt.  Other family members were invited to, but as you can see, it was a little crowded at the dinner table!  We had lunch after going to church that morning.

I fixed his current favorite table food meal of spaghetti, green beans, and cheesy bread.  We also had our house salad and lemonade, but nothing else because we needed to save room for dessert.

He really enjoyed that cheesy bread!  He didn't talk much during lunch at all.  

After lunch came the cake. My mother made the cake and frosted the cake and cupcakes. I am a little nutty about nutrition for my baby, so I had her make a reduced sugar cake following a diabetic recipe.  I think its absurd for children to NEVER eat sweets until the day they are one and then give them a major sugar surge.

Aren't they decorated well?  She worked in a bakery during college and can even make wedding cakes!

He waited very patiently for us to sing to him and give him some cake.

 I think it is safe to say that my son liked his cake and LOVED feeding it to himself.
I enjoyed this cupcake:

Later he opened presents. 

Cardinals baseball cards from Uncle Wes.

Distracted by the balloons that Dad blew up for him.

 He didn't understand the concept of presents. I guess its been a while since Christmas!  He started to crawl away to play with the balloons and his other toys.

 So I sat with him and helped him out.

He got a few wooden toys, puzzles, and a handmade sweater from GGma Landolt.

They are REALLY nice gifts!

After presents, he was ready for a nap.  We took a few family photos first!

As you can see, there were nine happy faces to commemorate a very, very happy year in the Haid house.