A Short List of Things On My Mind and Ten Photos of My (Two) Lovely Children

Here are some things I want to share.  Let's get them out in the open and out of my mind so I can quiet my mind and sleep until EK wakes up at 3:30 AM (super thirsty, probably).

1) Tomorrow is July 1.  Its time to start SHREDDIN.  I'm actually sleeping in my workout clothes (minus the shoes) to make it easier to get up and JUST DO IT.
       a) The last three words make me want new shoes SO BADLY.  And I can justify them... my most recent tennies are about the same age as DHH, and he's had a dozen shoes since then!
        b) I bought a sports bra on Monday night that claims to be HIGH IMPACT.  We'll see.

2) Tomorrow is July 1.  WOW.  The year is halfway over!!  I didn't realize!  Certainly the first quarter went by so slowly with all that snow and indoor time and germs and pregnancy.  The second quarter flew by, even though I was awake most of it or at least without sleep longer than 4-5 hours at a time.

3) DHH is in a language EXPLOSION.  He is now saying simple sentences (phew -I was worried he was delayed on this skill).  One funny thing he learned to do today was sing the hokey pokey song.  We were playing in the sprinkler and I invented Sprinkler Hokey Pokey.  Its a great game for 95 degree days, and its even greater when you hear your kid say, "Hokey hokey hahaha" and watch him spin in circles!

4) I've heard it said that arguments and rough patches in relationships are actually good things because they work to smooth out and perfect communication.

5) Casey Anthony probably isn't going to talk to her father anytime soon.  He really sold her up the river today, didn't he?
     a) And what does that expression mean, exactly? Who buys thinks from people down river?
     b) I watch Nancy Grace's commentaries on TOT MOM each morning on GMA and am amused each time.  I kind of don't want the trial to be over because her thoughts are amusing and she and George Stephanopolis really jab at each other!

6) My daughter had a bucket full of smiles for me today before 4 PM.  After 4 PM... she was highly irritable and unusually grumpy until 8 PM.  I hope they were gas pains and night a sign of mood swings at such an early age.

7) The list is not so short actually.

8) We had a grocery shopping adventure today.  It took a lot of my energy and lasted for over an hour. I pushed a monsterous cart that was cleverly disguised as a race car around HyVee and had to ask the bagger boy to assist me as I transfered groceries from that packed full cart into a standard cart.  Then I held the toddler's hand and the carseat and pushed the other cart out of the store.  It was good practice for SHREDDING.

9) I bought some teeth whitener strips.  I have high hopes.  Its been a summer full of iced tea here.

10)  I have a blind play date tomorrow with a local mama.  Seriously, its a blind set up.  Except we've seen each other's facebook photos and so maybe its not totally blind.  I am kind of excited.
     a) Should I dress up? Treat it like a real date and kind of be fancy about it all?
     b) How to react when my kids cry or try to lick the other children's bagels?  Who am I kidding here.  It will be a stressful date because I've never dated with children in tow!
     

A 40% Parent... A Visit With Nanny and Poppy

For the last three days/nights, I've had a mini vacation from some of my parenting duties.  I would say I had a about 60% reduction in my parental energy expenditure.
And it was great.
Thanks, Mom and Dad (aka NannyPop, PopNan, and Nanny and Poppy).

I was able to have another one or two capable and loving adults take my son to the toilet, rock my daughter, cut up food for meals, monitor toddler play, and several other things that just take up brain power and emotional energy.

During the week, I have to be 100% parent from early morning through the afternoon, and then I get to be only a 50% parent (well, depends if there is grass to mow or a daddy-DHH project to work on, then it varies).

The 60% off is amazing and relaxing and made me feel really lazy.
Now its back to the real world of a baby who needs to nurse while a toddler has almond butter in his hair and is yelling to watch Elmo and needs to be put on the toilet for a potty break.
While I also need to eat breakfast, fix my hair, and do regular me things.

There is definitely value in living near family, and I have grossly underestimated geography in this parenting adventure.

I think my children will be closer to them than I was my own grandparents... and that is great!  Three of four grandparents passed by the time I was eight, and its been just my Gramma C. since then.  My paternal grandparents were very old... born in 1903 and 1912, while I was born in 1982, and my maternal grandparents had several grandchildren so we weren't quite as doted on.  These kids have it made in the shade with younger grandparents who don't have to divide their time between other grandkids!

(And the same goes for their paternal grandparents... young, enthusiastic about them, and otherwise grandchildless!)

At Least Mama Looks Good In The Photo

My children, however... looking a little unphotogenic!

I Have So Much Love For My Daughter!

While I was pregnant with EK, I wondered how I could have more love in my heart and life to share with another child.  I actually worried about this.  Enough to make me lose sleep and feel depressed that I was going to ruin a child who had a mom that loved her brother ohso much more than her, causing her to feel neglected.

So that was a bit extreme.  But I can just lump that under the label of "crazy pregnancy hormones and emotions", right?

I was wrong.  There is more love here.

The love just grew and it was the TIME and ENERGY that I should have been concerned about.  Those things did not double when there were two kids.  

But the love did.

I love this baby so.

It is a blessing to me to just hold her and feel her soft skin as she lies draped over my shoulder.  

I appreciate her as a baby so much.

I appreciate doing the caring for her as a baby more than I did in the past, too.  It feels more special and sweet for me to do these mothering tasks.  I think its because I already know how to do it and I haven't done these things for a long time.

If I were still feeling the post-partum emotions I experienced six weeks ago, I would be sobbing, sad, joyful tears about how fortunate we are to have a healthy girl and one who is photogenic and a good sleeper, too.
Now those things have passed and I am able to appreciate her without needing to calm down and get a Kleenex.

Vitamins in Our House

Since I started to eliminate dairy as a source of my daughter's poop problems while nursing, I have needed to take calcium supplements.  I've also tried to remember to take a multi vitamin, because really, I think I am in the phase of my life that requires my healthiest self.

My husband needed vitamins, too.  He needs his stamina and energy to keep up with our toddler and his work life.

So here's a little story about his vitamins.

I had a week of less-restful sleep.
Its true that the baby started regularly waking at 3 instead of 5 AM, but actually it was less restful because of Husby.
He was a like a restless leg commercial all week.
Well, last night we figured out that the vitamins he'd been taking - an attempt to get more stamina and energy and health - contained caffeine.  And he was taking them ten minutes before bed.
Sheesh.
It was like drinking a cup of coffee right before bed, and we don't even drink coffee.  Our coffee cups are used for milkshakes or cereal.  Or for painting.

DHH, on the other hand, wakes up eager to take his vitamins.
I bought him the My First Flintstones. I am always concerned about his eating habits, since he could live on waffles and iced tea.
He loves these vitamins and signs MORE each time he gobbles his.  Then he fusses and wails and sometimes dramatically throws himself on the floor out of despair.

So that's what's up with the vitamins in our house.
I don't think we've every actually finished a whole bottle of them before the expiration date, so let's see if this is a habit that can stick.

PS - Vitamins are expensive!

Lilly and the brothers: Hurting, Healing and The Chronicles of Narnia

This is a new blog I am reading, and the author is really a powerful mentoring source for me right now as a mother (she doesn't know it yet of course).

You might like her writing style, too.

This post is about being overwhelmed after delivery and life at home and about how God is bigger than those emotions.

Lilly and the brothers: Hurting, Healing and The Chronicles of Narnia

Thought About Happiness and Self Satisfaction I Am Contemplating.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

Shred With Me?

So the other day I was talking to my good friend Ann about pregnancy weight, new mom weight loss, husband weight gain, and etc.

Mostly positive, helpful, and kind talk.  No body bashing or Fat Talk is allowed here on my blog or really, in my life (outside my head with that terrible, meanie ED who likes to engage me in the Fat Talk and Compare/Despair talk).

I randomly asked her if she would take a challenge with me.

I bought this at a rummage sale last year for a quarter.  It's collected dust ever since.  

I think it will be intense.  

I am ready for some strength though - its getting harder to tote around the car seat AND the 12 lb infant in it and the 27 lb toddler.  

I will need some new shoes though, right?
I think cross trainers should do it.

That might help with the motivator factor.

We are starting this DVD program on July 1. 

 We'll shred for 30 days, but in a way that is kind to our new parents bodies that have to do things like wake up early to be the sole breadwinner if a family of four or make milk or something.

I think having four of us (well, I doubt Husby will do this, but he might if Ann's husband is!) will keep us motivated.

We could have more.

Do you want to come play along, too?  Its an inexpensive DVD on amazon.com - less than $10.  

If we are failures at this thing, maybe we will have to resort to a less studly but very do-able challenge: 

It would be more like a 30 Day Sashay instead of a Shred.  

But Leslie is kinder and gentler and goofier than Jillian.

She might be better for my post postpartum state.

But she doesn't deliver the same results as Jillian.

I think the excuses I come up with will be basic:
My knee hurts and she has us jump around a lot
My kids take time from my for this
Asthma flairs
I hate being sweaty and my face getting all red
I don't LIKE that lady.

But I think the reasons are sound:
I didn't exercise as a pregnant lady with EK
I had an upper respiratory infection this year that was so terrible I couldn't go up a flight of stairs with out wheezing and my lungs HURTING to struggle for air
I need the toning
I need the strength
I miss having abs
I need some self discipline.

So, if you want to join up on this, we've got our Start Date of July 1.  Let's by August 1 have a big Celebrate Success Day and take photos of ourselves having the ability to do a push up!


PS - I am setting firm boundaries on this. 
I have to so I don't become nutty and have some relapsing.
I will not over do it and over exercise and make myself nuts about this.
I will only do the one workout prescribed daily.  
I'll do other physical activity as per the norm - a stroller walk with the kids, etc.
No fair lying about it. 
I will ice my knee if I need it and visit a chiropractor or massage therapist if I need it.
I will allow 2 mess ups and skip days out of the 30 because 28/30 is still an A at 93%.

Baby Jammie/Hat Combo

I am anticipating she won't like this photo of herself one day. But I do.

 She is just such a delight for me and I love to capture her expressions in photograph.

And why on Earth did the baby clothing company think this sleeper needed a matching hat?

Video Clips of Two New Kids' Favorites...

For DHH, his new favorite might be this $1 yard sale find.  He calls it "mow-wer" and thinks he is something else with it.

For EK, my favorite for her are dresses.  She has three fancy ones and three jersey "casual" ones in this size (3-6 M!!) and this dress in particular is fun because it blends in with the rain forest themed swing! 

PS - To be fair, instead of blogging I have been taking a lot of still shots and video.  I guess instead of creating media I am just capturing some.

Oh, My. It is June?

Its June already? Wait, June is more than half way done?

Wow.  Time is really passing quickly, just as other mothers had advised.  It seems though that the morning hours are the longest and then suddenly, a two and a half hour nap is upon us, Daddy is home, its time to clean up dinner and children, and then some house work and some insomnia, and then repeat.  Each day is going pretty quickly.

My sweet daughter is able to smile and kick and play.  She really is not a newborn anymore, just a regular infant.

My son is certainly not an infant.  He is one, nearly two, nearly twelve.  Lately, he's been my husband's shadow and has discovered a new world of things he likes to do, such as kick the tires to check their air pressure, push a wheel barrow, and today he emerged from our room rubbing Husby's RAZOR AGAINST HIS FACE (luckily, its a cheapy and essentially dull. But nonetheless... shaving???  Then again, he also enjoys playing with my make up brushes and pots of color I have and mimicking me that way, too.)

My husband is a fantastic father and I am sincere when I confess I think he's a better parent than I am.  I think he is more present with the kids, more aware of his reactions, and a more patient person than I am.  I think I fail my children when I put words in their mouths and assume things instead of being still and quiet and just listening.

But, that is not to say that I think I am a poor mom.  I actually think I am doing a good job this past week.  I had a few days break from my sweet DHH and my heart grew fonder for him while he was away.  So we spent much more quality time together when he was back.  He and I did some crafts, did some talking, and I tried to listen more.

I enjoyed the time away from my son because I could really concentrate on my daughter.  I could look at her without having one eye constantly trained on my son, trying to see if he was chewing a crayon or getting into the spices cabinet (both things he did last week).  I know it is impossible to do this, but I almost wish each child could have the same luxury of being an only child.  It would not teach the concept of waiting one's turn and would take a long time for one parent to raise three children... like 30 years or so... and then there is the whole thing of not being able to have the the background knowledge to be a better parent than you are when you are only a parent of one.

I have felt very distracted lately and anxious, too.   I think I am still having some post-pregnancy hormones being flushed from my system.  I've also failed to be consistent in taking the Zoloft to prevent PPD and EDNOS, so there's that as a reason for my uneven brain chemistry, too.  I am really NOT getting enough sleep, but its not EK's fault... she wakes only once per night (sometimes waking in the morning, not at night!) and it could mean I should go to be with my husband and wake with him, too... which would be around 9:30 PM and 5:30 AM... and its a novel idea... perhaps I would benefit from the change.

I've been super critical of myself and my choices lately, and I think that's why I've been a little shy on this blog. I haven't written much because I don't like confessing I feel anxious or that I've been letting SOMETHING steal my joy in my day to day life, because its not a really easy thing to read about or think about.  But there is something going on, and I am not really self-aware enough to know the root of it, just to pick up that its there, lurking!

All things considered, though, its June 2011, I've taken over 630 photos so far this month, so there are countless times during the days with moments that are totally photographicable.  Its June, I have two kids, its hot outside more often than not, each day I make a bit of progress adjusting to having an extra person (with so MUCH STUFF for such a small size) in our house, and pretty much the only thing lacking my my daily life are more female friend relationships... I crave some genuine girl time (not girly time, just female intuition) like I've been craving sweet tea.

Baby Girl Clothes Are Such Fun!

They are ridiculously cute and so much fun to dress her up in!
This outfit is one of my personal favorites. I love that the cotton fabric looks like something that my grandmothers could have worn in the 1940s. I admit the hat is ridiculous, especially since she is more of an "indoor child" these days.

Planting Seeds

In April, we planted some bean seeds in this nifty biodegradable container garden.

In May, they sprouted and grew.  

In June, we forgot to water and they dried up. :o(

Here are some cute photos of DHH planting them.  He's wearing a sweatshirt which seems so odd now... but it was chilly for most of April. Its anything BUT chilly now in June!

He had to use so much focus and patience to put the soil cubes in the planter, to poke seeds down inside, and to use a watering can.  It was precious to watch!